Unadulterated Travel

I love the feeling of travel for the sake of travel, going places with no real agenda, except to explore and maybe visit people. Usually, I've done this kind of travel abroad, but this winter, my husband and I decided to do a little ten day east coast tour, starting in Boston and ending in Raleigh. We visited a cousin of mine up in Boston, and checked out tourist sites like Harvard Square and the MOMA. Then we made our way down to New York, and stayed with a good friend in the Village. Living in LA, I miss that gritty feeling of an old, crowded place, of tiny restaurants and bars, with shady characters lingering on street corners. Our neighborhood in lower Haight was like that--not that I can really complain about living by the beach, but sometimes you just want a little grit, and NYC was a nice little taste. After that, we did a little trip out to the NJ suburbs as well, to drop in on Ameet's cousin who just had a baby boy two weeks ago. The baby was so adorable, but man, sometimes I can't believe that we're all grown up. Ameet's cousin and her husband are in their late 20's and they've got the huge home in the suburbs, the luxury car, the perfect Pottery Barn furniture... It shouldn't be shocking to Ameet and I that this is what people do when they "grow up," but man, we're definitely a ways off from that. Anyway, then we were off to DC for a couple days with my good friend Kathy, and finally, a quick flight down to Raleigh. Coming home to my parents' place was so relaxing--I literally crashed for twelve hours... The best part was heading to the movies on Christmas day. It was awesome because it was pouring down rain, one thirty on Christmas day, and there was a huge line for tickets. Both day time shows for Dream Girls were sold out, sold out!! Beyonce is unstoppable, everything she does is gold... There was quite a ruckus for tickets... But alas, my family safely got tix for Pursuit of Happyness. A heartwarming story, but the film dragged a little in middle, the plot felt slightly repetitive, but it was good to see Will Smith break out of his action hero roles and do something deeper. We only have a couple days left here, and we'll get in some more shopping (not that I should do any more), and see a couple of friends. Overall, this trip has been the much needed break that we both needed. I'll be fully charged once we get back!

Interactive Entertainment

Technology is moving unbelievably fast these days. I used to feel like I was pretty up on things, especially because I worked as a multimedia designer for so long. But lately, everything is moving faster than I ever imagined. I knew Web 2.0 would be all about the moving image, but I never imagined it would be on cell phones and other mobile devices. I just got a Palm Treo 700p, and it's amazing. I can connect to the Net off that thing from anywhere, and it's pretty damn fast, too. The thing that fascinates me is that digital storytelling, the idea of film and gaming and merging has taken on very new forms, as well. The whole LonelyGirl15 phenomenon is interesting, though ultimately, it is a lot like television. Recently, I've been very intrigued by Second Life, a virtual world where you essentially become a character in this universe. It's fascinating, because it truly is like living a "second life." I've taught a course called "Digital Storytelling" for a few years, mostly recently at Otis College of Art and Design. In the past, I've taught it from the perspective of developing a video game script, and students essentially come up with their own ideas, and then chart out the story and write a ten page treatment. It's interesting, and the students like it because it forces them to think it ways they never have. To me, this kind of model was the essence of digital storytelling. But now, there are so many other types of inetractive storytelling, so I've decided to adjust my course a bit for next semester. I've decided to reconfigure the course and call it, "Digital Storytelling: Second Life Narratives." Instead of students developing original story ideas, we are going to build a presence in Second Life. Students will pitch ideas for the space we develop, then they will create characters who inhabit that space. There will be a hefty writing porition for the class, especially in terms of developing a backstory for their chracter. I will spend class time helping them develop their online persona and creating a life for their characters. It's very different from what I've done in the past, but it should be interesting to see how my students develop their character and what adventures they face. What's nice about teaching at an innovative school like Otis is that they encourage teachers to develop courses like this one that use technology in interesting ways. It's exciting for me, as well, because I get to play with a new technology.

Trimming the Fat

Having struggled with one particular screenplay for the past year, I was terribly frustrated with myself. And while my writer friends and even Ameet told me to let the damn thing go, I just couldn't--that's just how I am when I get something in my head. I'd write and rewrite this script and go in circles in terms of the plot. Nothing I did seemed to make any sense, and I was getting very bogged down in complicated plots and too many characters. I did put it away for a couple months, and then suddenly, something just clicked with it. I don't know what it was, but it just came together. I decided to dig deeper into the emotion, and simplify the plot. I also went through and got rid of every, single character that didn't make sense or that I didn't need. I actually found it much easier to write the damn thing, because I didn't have so many characters to focus on. I worked it and worked it, and finally got to a point where I felt at peace with it. I hardly ever feel this way, but for some reason, I was like, it's done. I know it. Then I had a script reader give me notes, and lo and behold, all my fruits of labor paid off--they said that it was a well written, clear and interesting script. Even my husband, who started looking at me funny every time I mentioned this script, like I was crazy and just really needed to let it go, read it and thought it was good. I have to say that was the best feeling ever. After toiling for something for so long, I finally feel excited to hand it off to two managers who liked one of my other scripts, but wanted to see something more commercial. It's exciting to feel good about something I've written!

What a moron...

I was enjoying a lovely Santa Monica Saturday by biking to the library then grabbing some lunch at The Real Food Daily. While I was sitting outside waiting for a table, I was reading James Ellroy's The Black Dahlia, mostly because I've been meaning to read it forever, and because I am on a kick to read novels that have been translated into films. I was minding my own business, when these two older men glanced at me and chuckled, then one of them asked, "Why is a nice girl like you reading such a dark book?" I was somewhat confounded by the question, because it struck me as one of those "Why is the sky blue?" kind of questions. Or, this guy was just being sexist because he felt that I should be reading a romance novel or something. Anyway, I said, "Because James Elloy is an incredible writer." The guy was even more shocked, because I think he was expecting me to sound much younger than I am, which happens often, because I do look younger than I am. Anyway, he laughed again, and said, "Wow, most of the women I know only read books with pictures in them." I have no idea what kind of women this dude hangs out with, but apparently not ones who read. What a moron.

Screenwriting Lessons

I've been writing screenplays and making short films for several years now, and I will say that screenwriting, to me, is one of the toughest forms of writing. Having worked as a print journalist prior to writing screenplays, I always felt like making the switch shouldn't be too bad, but it was tough for me. I finally feel like I've gotten over a hump with some things, and have some very important lessons about the writing process that I think would have been helpful for me years ago. Here they are:

1. Externalize it. Sounds basic, but every form of conflict and emotion in a screenplay has to be shown visually and through externally created circumstances. In a novel or even journalistic piece, you can tell the reader what is happening inside a character's head through a quote or description, but in a script, there must be an external situation that moves the story forward. I find that sometimes in my scripts, when people read them and don't understand why a character feels a certain way, it's because I haven't shown it through an external situation.

2. Use research selectively. Maybe it's my detail oriented mind, but when I'm working on an idea, I like to get into the world and really research every little piece of it. For example, I'm writing something with a computer worm in it now, and I researched the topic to death and knew exactly how a computer worm worked. At first, my inclination was to put every bit from my research into the script, but readers told me they were confused, and bogged down by the details. When I went back in and did a rewrite, I took out much of the info and used it selectively, and I think it's working much better.

3. Use plot as a way to bring about emotion. I think each writer has his/her strength and some are good with plot and some with characters. For me, it was always been characters. Plotting always stressed me out to the millionth degree, and I was definitely getting bogged down with creating plots that were simply one situation after another. I was facing this issue with my tech oriented script, and I finally realized that I was so caught up in the technology and what happened with each step, that I was forgetting that plot is really a device to bring about emotion, a way for characters to interact. It was actually to the point where I wasn't even enjoying writing anymore, and when I stepped away, I realized because I wasn't doing what I love--getting into the emotions.

4. Plans, plots and actions should be simple yet symbolic. This sort of goes along with the previous point, but I used to get caught up in circular thinking with the plot, because I would make it so confusing that even I couldn't understand what was going on. I would find myself overthinking the "plans" or things the characters are going to do to the point where I was confused with my own idea. For example, with the revenge plot in my new script, I had the characters doing all kinds of complicated things to get back at their horrible boss. But those plans weren't really representative of a deeper theme or need. Now, I realize that it's important for the plan to be simple, yet symbolic of the deeper thematic ideas in the movie, rather than complicated simply for the sake of it. In other words, if revenge is about justice, then that plan should be to serve justice.

5. Take time to set up the character's world prior to the inciting incident. I'm not saying that you should spend 50 pages setting up the character's world, but for some reason, I was getting into the habit of just getting right into the conflict by page 5, and people who read my script weren't getting it. I realized with my new script that people didn't know my character well enough to really get into her conflict. In other words, if your story is about a straight laced girl becoming a rebel, then we need to see her being straight laced for enough time to understand just how important her transformation is. As much as all the writing gurus say that it's critical to set up the conflict fast, I've found that most Hollywood films do a thorough job of setting up the world, first.

6. Brainstorm themes early on. You may not know exactly what your theme is when you start a story, but for me, it helps to come up with a list of ideas. Theme, to me, is the point, or what you are trying to say about the world with your film. I guess not all films have to have a deeper meaning, but for me, this is the reason why I like to write--I have a perspective on the world and I want to share it with you. So, if I'm aware of exactly what that perspective is, my writing is likely to be stronger.

He Called Me a Wetback

So, today I was on that misery of a road, Lincoln Blvd., trying to take a left turn into a gas station. After a minute or two, I realized that this left turn wasn't going to happen one, because traffic was terrible and two, people behind me starting honking. I got it. Abort mission. Then, as I'm sitting there about to figure out an alternate strategy, this old guy in a pickup truck, oncoming from straight ahead, flies past me with his window wide open and sticks his head out and shouts, "You can't do that, you fucking wetback." For a moment, I was utterly shocked, then truthfully, a little frightened. It's been awhile since someone yelled a racial slur at me, and yes, I'm no stranger to this having grown up in North Carolina. I've been called a sand niger, a niger, a terrorist, a cow worshipper and the likes, but wetback was a new one. I wished I could have told that fat, old white dude what an ignorant fuck he was, but of course, that kind of satisfaction will only play over and over again in my dreams. Or better yet, in a screenplay. At least he could have used the right slur if he was going to go at it, right? Sometimes I forget that people like this guy exist, especially living amongst my very liberal enclave of friends who come from many corners of the world. I even remember, when I was making my short film, This Moment, about an interracial marriage, one of my friends asked me, do people even care about race any more? Is this even a relevant topic? Yes Kameron, wherever you are, it apparently is.

LA Reflections

I've officially been living in LA for a year, which is hard to believe. I have to say, for the first year, I felt intimidated by everything here, like the films I had made didn't mean anything, like nothing was going anywhere. Maybe it was because my mother had a horrible accident right when I got here, and maybe because moving is just hard. But I think the root of my problem was figuring out what was next for me--did I spend time making yet another short, or did I move on to a feature? It's hard being here because there is so much happening, that you really have to be clear on your objectives. And, on some level, everyone is dealing with the uncertainties of this business. Last year, making a feature truly seemed overwhelming. Now, I'm in a different spot entirely. It was all a mental thing--this summer, I decided to just stop spinning my wheels and go for the feature. I worked really hard re-writing Raspberry Magic, and it's much tighter and cleaner. In fact, I now have producer on board who really believes in the script, and we're going to make it as a low budget indie. It's going to be a challenge to make it happen, but the wheels are turning, and I know it will happen, with a lot of patience and hard work! As for LA, it can be a tough place, but I love the energy here. You meet so many motivated people, people with dreams who are just going for it. It's pretty exciting.

Screenwriting Expo

I've always been resistant to attending the Screenwriting Expo, because it just always seemed like another one of these cheezy events where the "gurus" give you purported shortcuts for great storytelling. I once sat in on a David S. Freeman seminar, and found it to be somewhat ridiculous. It's like, 36 plot points, 29 character types--I walked out because it was just over the top. The Screenwriting Expo had the potential to be just as lame, so I resisted going for years. But I decided to go this year, and I have to say that I was quite impressed. I think it's all about which speakers you choose to see, and I think that this time, I made some good choices. Steven Barnes blew me away with his discussion of characters--he uses a lot of yoga principles and Eastern philosophy to delve into character motivation and types. In general, he just has some wonderful ways of looking at human psychology, something that interests me a great deal. I've been reading some psychology books lately, and it's so funny because my freshman year of college, I was either going to major in English or psychology--I guess things come full circle. Anyway, I also saw Linda Cowgill speak, and her discussion of plot problems/issues was so, so, so helpful. She goes through a number of common plot problems and how to solve them. I think what really sets the pros apart from the amateurs is flawless plotting--a story that moves forward without getting bogged down in details and events that are implausible. She gave a great list of things to do to clean up plot. I also checked out Michael Ardnt, the writer of Little Miss Sunshine. He did a really excellent dissection of what makes a great movie ending--his discussion was also quite helpful to me. I feel like beginnings are my strong point, but endings, ugh. Overall, I took away a lot, so now, back to writing! It's great because Raspberry Magic is out to a number of people, and it's always so great to hear what people have to say. Everyone's opinions differ so much, but ultimately, it's up to me to decide exactly how I want that story to go.

Old Friends, A Sappy Tribute

My college years were the best of times and the worst of times, as I'm sure is the case with many people. I met my husband, Ameet at the ripe age of eighteen and my very close friends Robin and Neelesh. I didn't grow up with any family besides my parents and sister in this country, and though my parents had friends in the community, there was always a distance that pervaded those relationships. I always felt this strange tinge of sadness when we'd go traveling during the holidays, just the four of us, because it always felt like something was missing, like it was just us in the world. The worst part was that inevitably, my parents would get into some horrible fight, and things would go from being already stressful to even worse. I think this is why my sister and I are so close, because we often had to learn to function in a home with lots of love, but an air of unhappiness. But as I've gotten older, I've been very lucky to develop a close bond with so many friends--friends who I could call in the best or worst of times. I think Robin, Neelesh, Ameet and I have supported each other through some crazy times in San Francisco. We've seen each other go through layoffs, and breakups, addictions and debts. Inevitably, we've had lots of fun and lots of memories. But in the end, I think having those memories it's what's most important. This is an old photo of us looking very constipated, going to a wedding.

Living in a Digital World

With digital photography being so prevalent these days, I often wonder how well we'll store photos to document the past. For example, this is me and my 1-year-old niece--so adorable! But seriously, when she's 30 or even 15, will I still have this picture to show her? I can barely keep track of my important files, much less all of the photos we constantly download on our computers. And to top it off, it seems like every three years, there is a new computer, new drive, etc. in the picture. I love old photos, like this black and white of my parents' wedding. It's pasted so neatly in one of those wonderful old albums with the wax paper. There's something really refreshing about crackling old photos in the sepia tones of the 1970's. Even if we back up all our pictures onto a CD, how will we look at those twenty years from now? It's an interesting quandry, but I'm sure some genius out there is working on a solution.

Putting myself out there...

I've felt a bit nervous about putting myself out there and letting people know that I want to make a feature film. My last short was so stressful on so many levels, I've been a little scared to go for it, in all honesty. But sometimes, you just have to take the plunge and dive in. Over the past few weeks, I've really put it out there that I want to make my feature Raspberry Magic happen, and it's been so touching because so many of my friends, family members and other contacts in the film biz have been encouraging and supportive. So there it is. My goal is to shoot Raspberry Magic next summer for around $500,000. It's time to make it happen! In other news, I am in NC this weekend, screening my short film, This Moment as part of the Diaspora Festival of Black and Independent Film. The Sonja Haynes Stone Center flew me out here, and I was on WUNC to discuss my film. Being a Carolina alum and coming back to screen my work is an honor.

Big Pimpin' in Veggie Oil

Ameet and I were in the market for a second set of wheels after we moved to LA, and decided to buy a car that runs, yes, on vegetable oil. I'll admit that I was skeptical at first, mostly because I could just picture Ameet turning our garage into some kind of crazy conversion factory, full of disgusting drums of oozing veggie oil. (I won't even go there with our last attic.) But, I was charmed by the idea, and also it was our teeny tiny way of protesting against the oil goliaths. Anyway, it's a '78 Mercedes, and you fill it up with new or used veggie oil. It runs like a normal car, except that it seriously smells like French fries, which can sometimes get a little overwhelming. You can get (by asking them) used oil from restaurants (that's kind of a process), or the cubes from Costco, which is what we've been doing, and it comes out to around $2.50/gallon. We signed up for this car around eight months ago, and it took a long six to get it. The people who did it, Lovecraft Biofuels, basically rebuilt the insides of the car, and touched up the outside. They are an eclectic mix of folks who are very passionate about what they're doing, which is great to see. The thing with the car is that it feels like a boat when you drive--the steering wheel is huge, and you have to push the gas pretty hard for it to go. But that's just what's it's like to drive an old car. It's an interesting experiment in alternative energy, and we're loving it so far. Lovecraft has seriously blown up in the past few months; there is a waitlist to get one of these cars now, though you can bring your diesel car in for a conversion. Ameet thought it would be funny to take these pictures and show how LA's been rubbing off on us.

Chicken and Biscuits

Gotta love those North Carolina sunsets. The steamy mid-summer humidity, fireflys dancing in the air, your local Bojangle's lighting up the sky... I spent two wonderful weeks in NC earlier this summmer. I always feel somewhat conflicted visiting there, because while I love seeing my family, I am always reminded of my formative years growing up there, never feeling like I quite fit in anywhere... I mean, being an Indian kid in Raleigh, NC back in the 80's was, well, interesting. The RTP area is much more diverse now, but people in CA look at me like I'm nuts when I tell them I grew up in NC. I guess those feelings of being the odd one out were miserable back then, but they eventually to my creative endeavors.

Revisions

I am going through some serious revisions with both of my scripts right now. I've decided that it's time to just get really serious about making every line of both scripts just pop. Then, I'm going to just go for it and figure out a way to make this first feature happen. Life is just too short to sit about and wait, I've just got to make it a go myself!

Sundance Screenwriter's Lab

I was extremely torn up about not advancing to the second round of the Sundance labs. Especially because one of my scripts, Rapberry Magic, was considered by them twice. I don't know why I put so much credence on the labs, but for some reason, getting into it is this huge pie in the sky dream for me. I was so upset that I kind of wrote the people at the labs a very strong letter. I'm probably on their "crazies" list, but they did write me back telling me how sorry they were that I wasn't picked. Bummer. Anyway, the show must go on. Back to revisions and meeting producer types. In positive news, I worked through a problem I was having on my new script, and finally solved an issue I was mulling over for months! Yay!

Projects

Even though I have several projects currently in the works, I feel that I am lacking in direction. Do I make another short film, or do I take the plunge and work towards shooting a feature? I'm more inclined toward the latter. I feel ready to make a feature. But I really want to polish my scripts in the FIND or Sundance labs. That's what I'm doing now, really polishing my scripts to gear up for that. It's tough becuase the way they choose projects for these labs can sometimes be very political, but I'm going to try my hardest to polish my two scripts and really put them out there.

Moving Forward

Over the past few months, I've gone through some tough family things, and I think have kind of been stalling on my next move. I've been teaching a lot which is awesome, and really concentrating on writing. In terms of my filmmaking, I feel somewhat scattered, like do I pursue a "Hollywood" writing career, or do I hustle and just make a feature. I heard Miranda July, Duncan Tucker, Gregg Araki and several other indie filmmakers speak at a panel last night, and I felt seriously recharged. Here in LA, I think it's easy to forget craft and get caught in in the lure of "quick success." Yet you meet so many people here who are chasing something empty. Whether you are pursuing writing, directing or acting, you have the first have the passion and truly love what you're doing. So for me, hustling toward a feature feels more ideal. I love getting out there and meeting people. I'd love to meet some energetic producers with vision. My present goal is to really tighten my feature scripts and apply to the upcoming labs. I really want to go through a lab to polish my scripts and work with a mentor. There is a part of me that wants to go out and shoot another short too, but I'm going to hold off and focus on these scripts.

Block Party

Checked out Dave Chapelle's film Block Party tonight. You can see director Michel Gondry's magic touch, as it was beautifully shot, kind of looked like those old school rock and roll films, like Gimme Shelter. Block Party had a generally cheery, feel good vibe. Kind of like, hey, reach for your dreams, 'cause life is good. Reminded me of why I'm a filmmaker. In fact, made me want to go out an shoot something right then. It was also fabulous to see the Fugees perform!

Welcome!

Here I am, just another indie filmmaker with a dream. I've written and directed three shorts, and I've got two completed features I'm shopping around.

I began my filmmaking dreams in the Bay area where there is a thriving indie film scene, but honestly, very few people are making a decent living at it. So recently, my husband and I moved to the City of Angels so I could pursue this crazy dream on a more commercial tip. My goal is to direct a feature in the next couple of years while working as a writer-for-hire and of course, continue teaching. So, here I am, making it happen. One of the best resources I've found in LA is Film Independent. I'm in Project Involve, a wonderful program for meeting other like-minded people!