What's Next

They say that in the process of making a movie, it gets written three times, once when the script is actually written, then when it's shot, then when it's edited. So now, we enter the next phase of the filmmaking process, the post production. This is the part, for a director, that can sometimes be tough because you realize what you did well and what you didn't do well. You see how the movie is really going to look and feel. Overall, I'm excited to see how it comes together, but of course, I have the usual anxieties of whether I got enough coverage, if the locations worked and if I got the performances I wanted. Another question, of course was, how will this edit together overall? As I said, this whole process of shooting out of order is a bit nutty, but as you're shooting, you really start to feel how how the movie will cut together, especially as you remember what you did scene to scene. In the edit, as the film gets written for the third time, things will be moved and shuffled around in ways I might never have imagined. But really, at this stage, it's about putting the images together to mine the dramatic goals of each scene. We'll see how that goes!

It's a Wrap!

The past eight weeks of my life have been more insane than I could ever have imagined, but we did it! After two years of raising money, we finally made it all happen and shot the film! Directing a feature film is an entirely different experience than making a short film--it was hard, it was challenging, the days were long, but I really enjoyed directing. Of course, there are many things I'll do differently next time, but there were so many things I didn't anticipate, some of which include:

1. Questions, questions and more questions. As the director, you are the creative visionary for every aspect of the movie. I didn't realize how many questions I would be answering all the time, like do you want a blue vase or a red one? Do you like the sea green or the kale green? I think next time, I will definitely have a long and involved pre-production period so many of these questions are answered in advance. Of course, there will still be more questions, but thinking through a large number of the details ahead of time can totally help.

2. There is no time to think. Again, in the moment of directing a movie, you are exhausted beyond belief and there is just too much to do. I don't think this would change on a 20 day shoot or a 90 day shoot. There will never, ever be enough time, money and help to get everything, so, as the director, you really and truly have to know what you what from each scene. In other words, it is good to know the blocking and coverage in advance because in the moment, there is no time to think, just time to execute. I knew what I wanted from many of my scenes up front, and the DP and I had gone through much of our coverage in advance, but still, directing is really the art of being decisive under extreme physical and mental stress. I think I got through it gracefully, but still, I didn't know just how tough it would be.

3. Shooting out of order is a much bigger challenge than I expected. Of course, we all know that feature films are shot completely out of order to maximize time in the locations and according to actors' schedules. I didn't anticipate how challenging it would truly be to think this way--out of order. I had gone through my script and made notes on all of the emotions for each scene, but it's still tricky because in my story, the growth of the plants was challenging to keep track of. It was like, okay, is this the point at which they grow or not and how does that relate back to what it happening in the narrative? Very tough.

4. Working with children was a pleasure. I wasn't sure of what to expect in working with children, because it was my first time. But we cast some really wonderful and amazing child actors who were an absolute pleasure to work with. I never had to cut or slow down production because of the kids, so that was a total joy.

5. Working with extras is incredibly stressful. What you really need is excellent crowd control in working with extras. During the science fair scenes, we had over a hundred extras, all of which I was directing at one point. I had a mega phone and a plan in terms of what I wanted, but it's still hard because choreographing their movements and staging the blocking in the moment takes precision, timing and silence, something that's clearly not easy in a large gym full of people.

6. Did I mention exhaustion? I knew it would be tiring, but I didn't fully get it. As the director, things cannot move forward unless you are there, so you are pretty much on set all the time, standing for 15 hour stretches. Most of the time, I felt like eating was a huge burden that I didn't want to be bothered with, as well, but then I realized that I needed to have energy to make it through the days, so I would try to snack a bit here and there, but I def shed a few pounds through the shoot. The tricky thing also was that there were in some tough situations weather-wise, like the cold, fog and rain of NorCal, and of course, this year, it was unusually chilly. The kids all hated the cold, and so did I, but I always kept a positive outlook towards it, just so we could get through it. (yeah, isn't this hail just beautiful??)

Anyway, more to come, but these are a few small, initial insights...

The Journey Begins

It's been a very long and arduous road in terms of raising the financing for Raspberry Magic, particularly during these very tough and uncertain times. But somehow, we've pulled together and made it happen. It's been very exciting with casting the movie and pulling together all of the locations. Now is the time, I can't believe we're almost ten days out from shooting. I'm extremely excited, but I'm also nervous, anxious, etc. Either way, it should be a very interesting journey... Stay tuned for more when there is time!

Hope!

It's a really hopeful time for our country with Obama as our next president. I was out last night at a club and people were there waving American flags. It felt like an amazing moment, like waving an American flag had an all together different meaning than it has in the past. My father called me so excited about the change, his comment was that if Obama can be president, then anyone can truly do anything in life. It sounds ridiculous, but Obama's winning the presidency parallels my journey of making a first feature. I few years ago, I had no idea of how in the world I would make this happen. I was just another filmmaker with a few scripts and short films under my belt. But now, it's hard to believe that we're only twenty five days out from shooting the movie. It's here, it's happening and it's super exciting. Like Obama's journey as president, the production of the movie isn't going to be easy. It's going to be filled with bumps along the way, but as long as everyone maintains faith, positivity and overall good vibes, it'll all come together.

Thirty Days Away

I cannot believe we're about 30 days away from shooting. It's a really exciting time as everything comes together with the cast, crew, locations and much more. I am working on setting up many of the shots and thinking through the performances, and my producer is swamped with pulling together all of the logistics. I go through a wide range of emotions on a minute by minute basis with fear, anxiety, excitement, nervousness and so many other things wrapped up in one. I guess other directors might feel the same way, too, it's a bit crazy, especially since this is my first feature. All I want to do is make a great film, beyond that, there are so many things that are out of my control. We have a great team of cast and crew coming together to make this happen, which is super exciting. Filmmaking is such a collaborative medium, it's very important to work with people are good, reliable, trustworthy and have an overall positive vibe. I have been having some long conversations with the DP about shots, as well as with the PD on setting up some of the scenes, and making sure we make the world feel real and believable. All of the pieces are definitely coming together, it's super exciting!

From Script to Screen

I'm deep in casting, locations scouting and figuring out the shot selections for Raspberry Magic. It's all very exciting! I've learned so much about writing from actually making the film, here are a few things:

1. Don't waste too much time with pointless details of the setting. By "pointless", I mean, there is no need to give tons of ambiance and details, unless it very directly motivates the story or there is action around something. I spent too much time in my script describing the exteriors of the school, and it proved to be silly. I mean, middle school is middle school, right? The main thing is that it looks like that, a middle school.

2. Define spatial relationships, but keep them as simple as possible. Again, once you start scouting, you'll have to deal with how locations relate from one to another. In other words, how do we move from the house to the forest? It's good to set up the sense of place as clearly as possible in the script, so that when you start thinking about locations, it makes sense. On the other hand, it's good to be a bit flexible, too, because you never know how you'll have to cheat the locations.

3. Every, single role in the screenplay matters, because if you make the film, you'll have to cast someone for every role. To that effect, you want to think through each part--do you truly need it? What does it add to the story? In RM, we recently read for parts like the judges, cops, etc and though the parts seem small, they really do matter.

4. Every, single line of dialogue in the screenplay matters. This is the beauty of being a screenwriter vs. being a novelist. Someone is going to bring your character to life, and that someone will want to how, what's my motivation? How am I feeling? What am I thinking? Sometimes, when you create someone on the page, you don't think about these things. But then, you are asked these questions and you suddenly have to. It's a good thing, but unexpected as a writer!

5. I know writers shouldn't really worry about budgets when they create their work, but if you want to write a story that's meant to be shot as a low budget project, then keep things simple and low budget. I have a few tricky effects in my story that have been causing me a lot of stress. I can't take them out because they are central to the story, but geez, it's certainly a bit tricky!

Storyboarding and Directing

I'm pretty deeply involved with making the film now, and the pressure is certainly on. We've been having some really great casting sessions with both child and adult actors, and it's been quite promising. I'm excited and anxious at the same time about the prospects! In terms of the directing, for some time, I 've been a bit nervous about preparing for directing the film. For me, this movie is all about emotion and subtext, so the performances really do have to pop. I've always been unsure of how much storyboards help with directing, but my husband has been storyboarding the key scenes out for me, and I have to say, it's been so, so helpful in terms of seeing the movie. Not only that, but it also forces me to think about actors' actions, motivation and overall story flow. The thing with storyboarding is that it would be immensely difficult to draw out all of the coverage for each scene, but what we're doing is laying out a general look/feel of the scene, then from THAT, I'll actually figure out the coverage. My method is to use storyboards and photos of the locations to then come up with a floor plan and a coverage list. I used to feel a bit ambiguous about this process before, but now I get it. Basically, the boards and locations photos help me think about defining space, defining space then helps me think about motivation and action, which then in turn creates story flow. This process helps me basically conceptualize the general ideas, then I can get more specific from there. A lot of the specifics will change as we get to the set, at least I have some rough idea of what I want. The boards are also super helpful in terms of communicating with the DP, Production Designer, gaffer and other key crew folks.

Scouting in Oakland

Casting/Locations

I've been pretty deep in casting sessions for a number of different roles. This is the fun stuff, especially after you've spent so many years writing something. I love how actors come to the table with their own, fresh perspective on the material. It's so great when they come in and read the character in a way you never imagined. Reading kids has also been very interesting, there are so many talented kids out there, and I'm amazed by how so many have agents and have been working at it for so long. What's made this process pleasurable is working with a casting director. Basically, she filters through all of the noise, and brings us the best folks. Our casting director is really great, and I believe she really gets the overall vision of the film. On another note, I spent the weekend in SF scouting several locations. Things are really coming together, I can't believe we're shooting so soon!

Just Because We're not Big Budget

I firmly believe that just because we're small and "low budget," it doesn't mean we have to appear that way. I mean this in every sense of the word, too, because there are so many ways to do a lot with a little, especially these days. For example, you can start with a business card. It goes without saying that if you work in visual media, you better have a good looking card. It's sort of the first "impression" of what your work looks like. You can do a fairly good looking card with services like vistaprint.com and others out there. The trick is getting some help from a designer or someone with a keen eye for design and layout. Then, getting some help from someone who knows Photoshop well and can show you how to properly upload the artwork so it looks great. We're lucky because I was a web designer before I got into film, and my husband is a wonderful illustrator, so that helped. But paying attention to all of the details, even the presentation layout is a good idea, as well. Megha and I spent a lot of time putting together the look/feel of our presentation, using images we went out and took, then spending quite a bit of time to pick out a color scheme, the proper folders and other materials. As we're moving ahead, we're using this same strategy for the movie. I am working on thinking through all of the details, like the specific shot compositions, and using small, inexpensive ways to make them visually innovative. For me, this goes back to the basic framing and how I can add depth of field and texture to each shot. We can't afford fancy cranes and tons of movement, but that's okay with me, it's much more about emotion and context for me in this film...

Ebb and Flow

With the economy falling apart and times just being incredibly unstable, it feels a bit strange to carry on with something as seemingly trite as making an indie film. There have been a few moments over the past few weeks when I've really felt a little lost with the economy going to shit, people losing their jobs left and right and things just being generally weird. But last week, when I felt a particular moment of anxiety, my husband and I took a walk on the beach. We were walking close to the waves, watching the water wash upon the shore. Watching wave after wave roll through and gently break into the sad, it made me realize, that no matter what is happening in the world of human beings, life carries on, nature continues its course and things simply move ahead whether we like it or not. Watching television or the news, we are constantly inundated with images of turmoil, craziness and fright. The images and the headlines really, really get to me, and I feel this dull ache in the pit of my stomach as I see it all happening. Then I take a step outside and I remember the waves. Not that any of this makes things easier, but I try to constantly remind myself that there is an ebb and flow to life, that what comes up must come down and vice versa. So yes, making an indie film probably is trite in this moment of strife when people are losing their homes and jobs, but I believe that if we all shut down and stop doing what we're supposed to be doing, then we are somehow giving in to this natural movement and flow. As I've mentioned before, maybe it really is in times like these that we need art, beauty and hope. I know I could use all of those things.

Production Design

Production Design and "the creation of the world" in RM is fairly straight forward in that it is def. middle America, with a small hint of Indian flavor. I like quirky elements like weird mismatched glasses, table settings and home layouts that aren't perfect and things as such. I do have a production designer in mind and am super excited to work with her. The tricky part of this movie are two elements in terms of the production design: the first is the science fair. This is challenging first of all because we have to create posters, artwork and other elements that make the fair feel like a real fair. The other tricky part is, of course, getting extras, never an easy task, especially on a low budget. Filmmaking may seem glamorous to those who sign on as extras, but doing the same thing over and over again for 8 to 10 hours gets old real quick. So yes, finding the extras, especially the kids will be a challenge. The other tricky as aspect of making this movie is the opening scene, which involved a kitchen pipe bursting. The production designer I've been talking to is fairly confident about this opening, but I'm still slightly nervous about it. I mean, we'll have to do it in a place where we can, of course, have a pipe blowing up, then fuse it together with other scenes of the kitchen, not exactly the easiest task. Other than those two scenes, I believe the PD will be fairly straight forward. It's exciting, moving ahead with the vision.

Preparing for the Shoot

Now that I'm about seven weeks out from directing this movie, there is so much that has to happen. But the nice part at this stage is that we have other people helping us out. Until now, it's mostly been Megha and I doing everything. Now, we have a casting director and a line producer on which is super exciting, and we are moving ahead with a production designer and AD very soon. All of these things help. Now, I can focus on the job of directing, which is exciting. For me, the performances are crucial to this movie, because it's such a small and personal film. So, once we have everyone cast, it'll really be about working with the actors to get the performances I want. I know how I'm going to approach this, in the sense that I want to rehearse the actors for blocking and some movement, but I don't want to over rehearse them in terms of the performances, especially the kids. I am also starting to work on some shot lists and story boards. Story boards are helpful, but I also don't want to get too bogged down in them because I want the freedom to move in the moment. I want to create a look that has a bit of a surreal/dreaminess to the forest, and generally use some interesting movements to visually explore Monica's relationship to the plants. I have a lot of ideas visually in terms of how Monica's relationship to her plants will be shown/externalized, but of course, you'll have to see the movie to check those out! For me, this script is much more about the visuals and the way that the characters' relationships change to them than anything else...

Are you doing it, or not?

There is a really great interview with Peter Sollet, the director of "Raising Victor Vargas" that really summed up where I'm at and what I've been going through, so I thought I would post it. For the whole interview, here's the link to Filmmaker Magazine, but here's the part I liked:

Filmmaker: If you could do it all over again, what would you change?

Sollett: I would say yes more often. I think that it would widen me. I have a tendency to not try new things when I should, but if you don't go, you'll never know. I'm trying to say yes as often as I can now and I think that is ultimately the key to continuing to make films. It's just never the perfect time – it's like having a kid, you know what I mean? [laughs] It's never the right time, the script's never just right, the edit is never just right, so it's always a leap of faith. For me, it's a question of training myself to take bigger leaps of faith. Dave Eggers wrote this essay, maybe in McSweeney's, and one of the sentences was “No is for pussies.” Now, Dave is not afraid to say no [laughs] – I've gotten to know him a little bit – and he may have been talking to himself a little bit in that piece, but I kind of agree.

Filmmaker: Which phrase best describes your philosophy on life?

Sollett: I don't have a [phrase that describes my] life philosophy, but I can start off with a movie philosophy. My favorite Cassavetes quote – here it is, very simple. He said, “You're either going to make the movie, or not make the movie.” What he meant by that was we're never going to have the money we need or the time we need or the help we need, but in spite of that we need to make a choice. Are we going to or are we not going to do this? I definitely apply that to my life too. It's always going to be kind of a mess, but either we're going to trudge forward and do this, or we're not. And to choose not to do it is no way to live. That's been a helpful quote from John for me. [laughs]

Cinematography

I am super stoked as the various pieces of the movie come together. I'm working with my long time friend and collaborator, Jeffrey Chu, a brilliant cinematographer. I first met him many years ago when I was working as a production coordinator on a feature called, Happily Even After. Working on that film was a life changing experience, and it made me realize I wanted to be in narrative film. Anyway, Jeffrey shot This Moment, as well, and we had a good time doing it, so now he's back. We've been going back and forth on the look for RM, and I put together a "look book" so we could have a point of reference. I'm prob also working with the same gaffer as a did with This Moment. It's nice to work with some familiar folks, and very exciting to move ahead on everything!

Casting!

It is exciting, we're now working with a casting director, Emily Schweber. She came highly recommended through a number of folks in mine and Megha's circle, and we're super stoked about working with her. She will be a huge help in casting all of the children and some of the other roles, especially the teacher and publisher. For the mother and father roles, we are working with the ever talented Meera Simhan (Date Movie) and Ravi Kapoor (Crossing Jordan). Then for the janitor, we've cast James Morrison (24, Jarhead)--we are very excited to be working with these talented actors!

Where We're At

Making a feature film is already a highly complicated undertaking, and in times like these it becomes even more tough. Over the past few months, we watched the economic situation go from bad to horrible. This means it's that much more tough for us to raise money. I think folks who would have put in without any issues a few years back are now hesitant. What does this mean for us? Well, it's sort of tricky because we've raised quite a chunk (I think) to do something, but not all that we want. I've gone in huge circles over the past few months and been stressed about what to do. We decided back on Sept. 1 to proceed--simply make the film. It's been good since we made that decision. We've been working super hard--put out some calls for locations, and folks have responded. We're talked to a great casting director, and she has been responsive. But I do feel a constant sense of angst about this whole money thing. In other words, will we be okay? What will happen to us, making a feature at such a low budget? I mean, in moments when I really stress, I remind myself that all of my shorts were basically made for no budget (well, a couple thousand dollars and a credit card), and I still managed to make something, get it into festivals and even win a few awards. On the bright side, since the economy is so bad and production is slow even here in LA, there may be a chance to get some deals, which we are presently hustling. It isn't easy, but we def. having film and it's def. coming together.

McCain is Afraid

Yes, that's my basic assessment of the situation, because we all know McCain has been MIA, not voting on jack shit for at least the past year. So why the rush to get back to "the people's business"? The first theory is that he's just plain afraid to debate Obama, because he knows his ass will get waxed. It's probably also a ploy to knock the dates for the VP debates out of whack, so maybe by some slim chance, Palin doesn't have to get her ass up there. Or most importantly, maybe McCain needs to get back to the "people's" business to bail his banking cronies out of the hole, to get his CEO homies the multi-million dollar severance packages they want. It's pretty fucking outrageous, for real. Get your ass up there and debate fool, it's an election!

The Plot Thickens

A tumbling economy, a massive bailout financed by the taxpayers, a candidate who wants to pull of out of the debates, Bush inviting both McCain and Obama to discuss the situation... The plot just gets deeper and deeper, and honestly, it's all starting to sound like a... A movie!! Fiction really couldn't really make it any more interesting!!

Rallying a Team

So, there is this whole process in filmmaking, particularly in Hollywood, where before you actually get a work made, you send your material (screenplay) out to managers, producers, agents and other people to get a team around you and actually make a movie. What happens is that you mostly get rejected. A lot of people tell you they're not interested, a lot of other people say it's not the right project, and others just don't respond. It takes a long time, and in some cases years, for this process to go through it's rightful cycle, and then you finally, finally you meet someone who really likes your work. Then slowly, that person brings in more people and so on. For some writers/filmmakers, it just happens quicker, maybe because the work was highly commercial or a very powerful person gravitated toward it. I used to think that that's how things worked, in general, like something would happen in an instant, but now I see that it really takes time. The whole thing, too, is that even when you start getting people in your corner, not everyone else is going to believe in the work. But what's really important is that you have that core team who believes in the work, so it doesn't really matter who else rejects you. With Raspberry Magic, I had a producer like the script, and then a manager. That manager hooked me up with talent, who in turn liked the script. That talent was able to bring on more talent, and with the producer, we were able to get a few investors. With those investors came more investors. Slowly but surely, we have made Raspberry Magic into a real, living/breathing entity. It's a long process, but I understand now how that process comes to fruition...