New Script, Casting Stars

This week, I completed a new script that I've been working on for the past six months or so. It's been a long haul, but the process of writing this piece has been much more fluid than much of my work in the past. Also, it's exciting to me because I believe that the script has a much more commercial feel that some of my past work. I'm sending the piece out to a few trusted people for notes, then we'll see what happens next! It's exciting. The crazy thing is, I've been writing so much over the past few weeks, my hands and back are absolutely killing me. I sound like an old geezer, but honestly, it is a serious issue, being on the computer for such long hours. I really need to figure out some way to sit/type so that I'm not in this much pain. I got a massage last week, but that didn't seem to help. Ugh! On the Raspberry Magic front, we got a couple more people to invest, and we've actually been talking to a couple of distributors. Don't know what will come of that in the immediate, but at least we have a conversation going. We're actually excited about some actors, too. It's hard because people want us to cast big stars in the film so it has a better chance of selling, but sometimes I hate the idea of stars because it seems like the focus of the movie then shifts to the "star" rather than the actually film. Miranda July was damn lucky to be able to get away with casting all unknowns in her film, Me, You and Everyone we Know. But then again, Miranda July has been hailed a genius, so she can get away with it. If it were up to me, I would simply cast actors, meaning people who can act their asses off, rather than people who are stars. But such is the business of filmmaking, so we'll see what happens!

Life as an Artist

It's been over ten years since I had a full time day job. Over the past decade, I've made a decent living as a teacher, freelance writer and web designer/video maker. It's a good life style because it allows me to make a decent living while pursuing my art as a writer/filmmaker. But the thing I hate about this lifestyle is that it's tough. You write and write with the goal of making something, seeing something happen, but it's such a long and slow process, it's easy to wonder if you're doing the right thing. I often wonder what I would feel like if I took a full time job at some sort of TV/Net venture, like say a Current TV. Maybe I'd like having salary, or knowing that something I put my work into will actually show up on TV. I've had several offers over the years, but I always find that I have too much freelance work, work as a teacher, or writer to do the full time job thing. These questions are my doubt seeping in sometimes, like maybe getting some nine to five deal will solve all the doubts I am sometimes plagued by. It's easy to be doubtful in this field, too, because there are so many subjective factors that go into having success. I had a friend who once actually asked me if there would be a day when I would quit, just forget about this and "do something else." But you see, the problem is, I don't really know what else I'd do. I would write books, maybe some articles (something I already do), but in terms of like being a project manager at a company or something, I'm just not sure about that. Maybe I'd enjoy it. At the moment, I am excited about shooting this movie, which we are doing in October, no matter what. I also have some new scripts that I think have potential, but again, it's a slow process, getting these out and seeing what might happen with them. I guess as artists/creative people, we just have to be extremely patient and have a lot of faith that the projects we sow will actually one day lead to other projects and more ideas.

Raspberry Bushes

So, I planted some raspberry bushes in my backyard, just to experiment a little, like the main character in my upcoming film, Raspberry Magic. It's pretty hard to grow raspberry bushes in LA, esp. because it doesn't rain that much. But mostly because I haven't been the most dedicated grower in the world. I thought the bushes would look a little happier with all the rains, but they kind of look sadder than ever... It would def. be impossible to grow berries on these sad little plants...

Crazy Days

The past few days have been a whirlwind, mostly because Megha and I were heading up to SF for a big investor meeting which subsequently got moved. But we decided to go up to SF anyway--I went bc my sister was out for a residency interview and Megha went up to see her sister, too. I thought it would be a pretty laid back weekend, but things went a little crazy bc of all the bad weather out here on the west coast. We got in much later than expected on Friday, but then Sunday when our flight was two hours late, I flipped out because Megha and I organized the Institute for International Film Finance speaker series for this month, and of course, it was happening that evening at five. It was all well planned, but we cut it really close getting back into town, and then to the venue. When I say that I flipped I out, I don't mean that I went ballistic in the airport or anything, but I did basically burst into uncontrollable tears for a seemingly ridiculous reason. Looking back on that moment, it seems kind of silly, but I think sometimes when you schedule too many things back to back without any wiggle room, this is what happens (to me at least). I also think I was a little overwhelmed with having gotten into a car accident a couple of days earlier. The accident wasn't bad, and actually, the girl who I hit had no damage. But my car was pretty banged up, which I was really upset by. Anyway, lots of interesting film meetings coming up... I hope this will be a week of calm and balance, unlike the last one.

Screenplay Structure

One of the most difficult aspects of leaning screenwriting is understanding basic screenplay structure. I don't mean learning some formula like the stuff Robert McKee advocates, but I mean understanding the general ebb and flow of how drama works, how you create tension and the general dramatic beats of a story. Structure is especially crucial in screenwriting, as opposed to a novel, because it is such a bare bones medium. There is very little room for wayward plots and storylines that don't feed into the main idea. I used to go in circles with plot and inevitably end of writing myself into a very confusing and dark corner. But now, I find that I have a certain rhythm to my writing, that I understand how it works. Everyone is different, but for me, I use a very rough structural model by figuring out the setup, inciting incident, climax and resolution. I have some story beats in between and I do a lot of character work. Then, I basically pound out a first draft. My first drafts are really shitty, but I find that the only way for me to write a screenplay is to write the actual screenplay. I know some writers do extremely detailed plot outlines, but I find that if I try to do this, I end up scratching the whole thing. I also like just getting into the draft because there is a process of discovery for me--I learn more about my characters and they go in places I would never have thought of in that first draft. Then, it takes me many more revisions to really get it right and polish it. I'm sure some writers do fewer drafts because they get their ideas together in the outline, but having gone through many different methods of trying to make this plot thing work, I've found that this process works for me. I say this because I feel like I'm getting to a solid draft of a new script, and the process has been much more fluid for me than in my past work. I am sure that I'll have other pieces which take me forever, but it was nice to understand my own process and be able to write more efficiently this time.

On the Hustle

Now that it's mid-January, we are back in full swing hustle mode on the film. I've been talking to all kinds of investors and even a few actors. There are some very promising developments on the horizon... The really exciting thing is that my DP, Jeffrey Chu, has been in town, so we've had a chance to sit down and really discuss the visual aspects of the film. We've been talking about what the color palette will look like for the movie and just the general feel. I want to go with colors that are a bit more subdued, that feel like realism, more like an old 16mm film than say something that is higher contrast in terms of the colors. I've always been pretty hardcore about shooting the movie on 16mm film, but the DP thinks we should explore the possibility of HD, so I am going to take a look. I am not crazy about the look of HD for dramas--I feel like it works well for comedies or even thriller type pieces like Collateral, but I like the color palette of film better. We'll see how it goes, it's more important to make the film than anything else, and Jeffrey is an excellent DP, so I'll be open to the possibilities.

Acting for Directors

This weekend, I took an "Acting for Directors" course with Judith Weston. I found it to be an excellent class, especially because Judith is a no frills teacher and didn't waste time on any BS, she went straight into a series of intense exercises which dealt with improv. and accessing emotions. These classes were invaluable to me as a director, but I also believe that they were helpful in terms of my writing. On some level, as writers, we are actors. When we create characters and bring them to the page, we are playing many different parts in order to make each character authentic and real. I find many of the exercises actors do to be extremely helpful in accessing deeper emotions and getting into a frame of mind which helps me dig deeper, especially improv. I would recommend all writers, especially screenwriters, to take at least one acting class. I also enjoyed Judith's class because all of the other students were directors working in different capacities--some came from commercials, others from music videos, etc, and most people had a feature project at some phase. There was a really exciting synergy in the class, which I haven't felt before in taking workshops around LA. Judith also gave some really specific and clear tips on working with children. The class got me super pumped to move forward on my project!!

The New Year!

I'm back in LA after ten days of complete chill time with the fam in NC--lots of eating good food and watching movies. Usually when I'm back in NC, I start to feel a little restless, but this time, I felt pretty content with being lazy. I guess that was an indication of just how burnt out I was at the end of December. Now I feel refreshed and ready to move forward with everything. In the few days I've been back in LA, things have been moving full force ahead. I met with our DP to discuss Raspberry Magic in depth, and the producer and I have a number of meetings coming up. We've also got some very exciting actor attachments on the horizon! I'm stirring creatively, which is great, there are so many things I want to do like develop a web series (I have a great premise!), plus so many new scripts to write. But it's tough to do everything so I'm going to focus on the feature (of course!) and my other scripts that are coming together. I'm also writing a new piece of flash fiction every week--it's been a great tool in terms of pushing my writing. This weekend, I am taking an intensive course called, "Acting for Directors." The class is a bit pricey, but it's well worth it. I really like Judith Weston because she is not pretentious and doesn't waste any time pimping her own resume. She does a series of intense and focused acting exercises geared toward directors. They are nerve racking, especially for those of us who are nervous about being vulnerable in front of other people, but it is really a great way for me to expand my process as a director both technically and creatively. I am generally stoked about the new year and am looking forward to busting my ass and making shit happen!

The Road

I recently finished reading Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer-prize winning novel, The Road, and I have to say that it was one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I loved the sparse, staccato-like language, it's poetic rhythm taking you along the journey with father and son. The story was brilliant in its minimalism, giving the reader just enough information to go on the journey, but holding back the right amount to allow the reader's mind to wander. What I appreciated the most was the book's symbolic and metaphorical ruminations on the nature of love--when civilization has been decimated and father son are forced to find their way, is love enough to not only sustain them, but the future of the human race? In many ways, the book reminded me of The Fountainhead and Ayn Rand's theory of Objectivism, which condones altruism and advocates a rugged and fierce independence that in theory should empower the individual to survive. It's strange last night, because we were at a family party, and several of my husband's cousins and I stayed up late into the wee hours, debating this whole question of altruism versus the individual. One person in the group is a fierce Republican and believes wholeheartedly that tax dollars should not be used to help greater society, even when it comes to public services like health care, schools and more. He himself is wealthy and has done well in life, and some ways doesn't have much sympathy for those who have gone through hardships. It was an interesting discussion, something that kept bringing me back to the novel, The Road. McCarthy's book explores such complex and intricate questions, I've been thinking about it all week. Amazing that he could do so much with so little.

Insomnia on the East Coast

It's 3am and for the third night in a row, I am wide awake. I am so awake, it feels like 3pm in the afternoon, like I want to go jogging around the block five times. Whenever I come to NC for the holidays, I can't sleep. I'm sure it's partly due to the time change, but it's also because my mind goes into overdrive and I cannot stop thinking--the investors we're going to hit, the plot turn I'm adding to my new script, the short piece I need to polish. It reminds me of being a teenager, when I could never sleep, so I would read until 4am every night. Insomnia frustrates me, but right now, it's okay because I am in total chill mode, hanging out at my in-laws' place, eating all of the Indian delights I love like chaat and bhel. Yesterday, I finally fell asleep around 4am, then woke up at noon. It's been a long time since I've been in "chill mode", honestly, I can't really recall the last time, because I've been so crazed. So, instead of complaining, I will catch up on email and continue reading my books. It's sort of nice being in slow-paced Charlotte, going to Best Buy to get my father-in-law a TV and baking some cookies. It was weird flying here not only because Ameet and I were retarded enough to miss our flight, which meant hours of waiting for the next one, but also because the flight from Dallas to Charlotte was full of soldiers coming home for the holidays. I could not help but stare at a young woman, clad in a too-big uniform, her wire framed glasses sliding off her nose, her blond hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and her face full of pimples. Her young sister and mother waited in a corner while her father grabbed her bags off the conveyor belt. I couldn't help but worry, wonder whether she would make it home for the next Christmas, as she waved at several others wearing their camouflage. At least she was home for this one.

Ramifications of the Strike

As the Hollywood writers strike continues, I have been watching and monitoring the situation. While I believe that it is very important for a deal to be worked out, I always figured that market forces would create new incentives for both writers and internet ventures. The guild is a critical entity because it helps writers work out fair deals with the studios and major media conglomerates, particularly for larger production entities. But what I love about the Net is that it is a de-centralized form of media (that's why the studios don't know what to do with it) which is not overseen by the studios and media giants. In other words, what's stopping writers from going out and starting their own Net related ventures? That's what indie filmmakers do. We set up an investment entity, then we get people to believe in our vision. That is what I have been doing for the past couple of months--going out and getting investors. I know that many writers like working under the guild with the studios bc that is where the cash is, but on some level, now is a great time to come up with entrepreneurial ventures for the Net. We've seen sites like Quaterlife crop up, which I believe is a great idea, but the web site still needs a lot of refining on the technical end. It seems to me like in some ways, Hollywood is a little behind the curve bc content-related sites like even Current TV have been several years in the making. John August writes on his blog today about this idea, that technologists are in talks with high profile writers about setting up new entities. There is also a good article in the LA Times about this, as well.

Feelix

Feelix, built by Jakob Fredslund at Aarhus University in Denmark, is going to play a role in Raspberry Magic. But more to come on him soon...

I'm Still Here... Kind Of

The past month has been a total and complete whirlwind between writing, teaching, grading and trying to keep my head above the water with making my little indie film. This time of the year is always a bit tough because people are so swamped, and it's stressful in terms of setting up meetings, etc. But we've been chugging through consistently talking to all kinds of people about investing in the movie. This process is rough, and absolutely not for those with weak stomachs or hearts. Even myself, there are days when I feel totally discouraged, and I just want to put a blanket over my head and pretend I'm five years old. But alas, I want to make the film, so I have to crawl out of that shell and make the shit happen. I am excited, actually, to head back to NC for the holidays and chill, just a little. The financing for the film will be ongoing, but I am excited that my new spec is really coming together. I've got a first draft, and I'll prob spend the next couple of months punching it up to a third draft. Hopefully by then, this strike will come to close! On another front, I've been writing new flash fiction, which is exciting and fun, since it's super short and requires much less committment than a feature length screenplay :)

Strike, AFM, Filmmaking

So, it's been a week of writer's strikes here in LA land... Though it doesn't affect me directly at present in terms of my indie film work, it's a bit nerve racking because it just means that the system is even slower than it already is, meaning it's going to take forever for new work to be read! Ughh, it's already so slow! I guess all of this just gives me the impetus to focus on Raspberry Magic and make the film, no matter how low budget we have to go. I'm just at that point in my life where it's like do or die, I have to make the film and move ahead. I've also been thinking lately about doing a couple of narrative shorts for the web. I've got so many ideas, and it may be fun to shoot something in kind of a low-fi format and just get it out there. I love the possibility, because it's so much easier than screening something in film festivals--people can watch it much more immediately! On another tip, my producer and I went to AFM last week to meet with several people about the movie. It was fun but weird on many levels, hanging out in the lobby of the Loew's Hotel. We met with a couple of distributor/producer types who are helping us make this film happen, which was great. The weird part was seeing some filmmakers dressed in costumes or handing out schwag like pens and buttons. Man, it's a total down and dirty sort of hustle, people trying to get the word out however they can... This business is def tough at every juncture.

Quiet Week, Strike Looming

This is the first week in a long time that I haven't had meetings for Raspberry Magic. It was weird, but a good time to catch up on a bunch of things like putting together our fall newsletter/update. The week before, I had a pretty big deal investor meeting with a crew of people, which went very well. Megha and I had spend weeks putting together slides that are beautiful but also shock full of information. It was a stressful process and at one point, I thought we might kill one another, but it all worked out. It was a great experience to tell the story of the movie and also break down the financial for a captive audience. There are a number of people who are interested, but this process is so long, it requires a lot of talking back and forth, meeting with more people and then more people, constantly. I think sometimes that's the part that's hard for me, because it's a lot of waiting. But, we are lucky that we've got the meetings, and that we have a good group of people interested in the film. It's crazy with the whole Hollywood strike looming. I am sure it will impact me in ways I never imagined, even though it's not directly. It does seem like, though, with all this going on, we'll see more money going into webisodes and indie film. It will be interesting to see how all this shakes out.

Sense of Reality

What is reality and what how does one define existence? It's an abstract question, but the truth is that each of us have a different sense of reality and even meaning in our lives. For one person, reality might be about basic survival--finding food, shelter and water on a daily basis. For me, it's dealing with raising money for a movie, and living here in LA. For a good friend of mine who has a pretty bad case of paranoid schizophrenia, it's a about a "secret project" that no one knows about and that he can't tell us about. He's hiding out from people, and truly believes that there is conspiracy against him which involves someone logging into his email and monitoring his phone calls. I hesitated to blog about this whole thing because it's a highly personal matter, but on another level, it's preoccupied my thoughts more than I can even explain lately. Even more so, because some friends and I recently had an intervention where we tried to convince him to see a doctor. The conversation was like talking to a brick wall--he turned the story around on us, claiming that our argument that he is displaying all of the classic signs of the illness and that he should see a doctor was invalid. In fact, he kept telling us that we needed to come up with a new "story," a more creative reason for him to see a doctor. To him, nothing is wrong and he does not need to see a doctor. It's fascinating to me how the mind takes over and alters a person's idea of existence. Prior to schizophrenia, this person was an extremely high functioning member of society, someone who was the creme of the crop in terms of his ideas and abilities. Now, he is hiding out in his brother's apartment and sometimes wandering to friends' homes, walking around believing that he is being followed by people in this conspiracy. This whole situation makes me sad, particularly because there is no way to rationalize with a person in this state of mind. None. They have no doubts about their own sense of existence and reality and no one and really fuck with that. In fact, during the intervention, we brought up this whole point, that most of us question our own existence and sense of reality on a daily basis. He said he did not and that he did not want to. It's impossible to screw around with that.

Screenwriting Expo

I was always somewhat cynical about the Screenwriting Expo because I thought it would be another one of these weird events where people try to give you some magical formula to make millions on your next script. I went to one writing writing seminar like this where the speaker kept talking about how his Mercedes outside proved that he had a successful writing career. He kept giving long lists like, "30 ways to create conflict." It was weird--I actually left and got my money back. But, last year, I decided to go check out the expo and I have to say, I was really impressed. Most of the speakers were working writers or university teachers, which to me is way better than some of these "guru types" who often seem like they are basically trying to make a buck off poor souls with a dream. Anyway, I checked out several speakers who I thought were impressive like Steven Barnes and Linda Cowgill. Both were excellent in terms of their discussions on character and plot, and honestly, after listening to them, I felt like I stepped up my writing game in a huge way. I have a weird mindset with the expo, I go hardcore to classes and do my thing, but I'm not really in it to network. If I see people I know, then cool, but I'm really there to just go to the classes and take advice from the teachers. This year, I'm going focusing on plot and character, my two favorite areas, and going to a number of courses related to that. I'm looking forward to it, esp since I have so many ideas cooking in my head right now! Here are some of the seminars I plan to attend:

+ Inside Story: (Part 1) -- Developing the Transformational Arc of Character by Dara Marks
+ How to Create Characters With Emotional and Psychological Depth by Rachel Ballon
+ Sequences: The Hidden Structure of Successful Screenplays by Paul Joseph Gulino
+ Myth, Magic, Metaphysics: How to Use Them in Your Stories by Pamela Jaye Smith

Pushing Harder

This week has been long and exhausting. There is so much going on between the film and teaching, that I sometimes feel like I am struggling to keep my head above the water. In addition to teaching and making Raspberry Magic, I'm also writing a new spec script which I believe has a lot of potential, and even though I'm 80 pages in and know exactly where I want the ending to go, I wish I were further along. There is so much to do, I should be working like 25 hours a day. Sometimes I look at my creative resume and wish it was longer, a lot longer. Like instead of having made three short films, I wish I had made ten. Instead of writing three really solid features I'm proud of, I wish I had five. While sometimes this mindset is dangerous for me because I fall into a slump of never being satisfied, I also believe that this mindset keeps me going, motivates me. Even with the feature, there are moments when I want to be further along. But then, when I actually stop and look back, I'm actually amazed by how much we have done. If I think about where I was at a year ago versus now, I realize... Wow, I barely knew what a business plan was last year, but now I have one for the film! It's this amazing how life is? In the moment, when things are stressful, you wonder where everything is going. Then, when you actually stop and take a breath, you realize, wow, I have made progress...

Reading!

Throughout my youth and even into my twenties, I used to read voraciously. I would constantly read novels, sometimes literature, other times the scandalous stuff like VC Andrews. I would stay up until 4am just reading and reading. Now days, I'm so tired from either teaching or writing that I just don't have the energy to read as much. Also, writing so much, my patience with novels that have wayward plots is very limited. But this week, I picked up a book, written by a former writing teacher of mine called The Year of the Fog and it is incredible. I took a writing workshop with the author, Michelle Richmond, one foggy summer in San Francisco. This was a summer when I was feeling very blue, because I felt that after having gotten my Master's degree in doc. filmmaking, that I didn't want to make docs anymore. I had always known deep down that fiction was my calling, but I wasn't sure if that meant writing short stories or writing film scripts. And, I wasn't really sure of how one pursues their dreams to write fiction. So, I was experimenting with workshops, and I came upon Michelle's. Anyway, in her class, we wrote a lot of flash fiction, or or short stories under a thousand words. I had never done this kind of writing, but I found that I had a knack for it, especially with the dialog. Some of my stories would have the group laughing so hard that they were crying. It was a strange revelation for me, as I had written many short stories in the past, but they were long (like 20 pages or more), and were basically just terrible. Anyway, Michelle was unlike most of the writing teachers I had had, she was young and beautiful and very encouraging. This class helped me build my confidence, and was great preparation for making my short, This Moment. I'm stoked for Michelle, because her novel really is excellent. Amazing language, great story, engaging characters. It's great to see her be successful!

Scene Study

So, I've been taking a scene study class just to help my directing process and it's been very interesting. I had this realization about the acting/writing/directing process the other day as several actors were working on entrance/exit exercises. In this class, the entrance/exit exercises are long, the teacher allots like ten minutes for each actor, which to me is an eternity! Anyway, a lot of the actors had a tendency to use up time by walking around the space aimlessly, or taking forever on something that would ordinarily be a simple action. For example, one guy was reading a letter which was supposed to deliver bad news. I think he spent five minutes looking at the letter and getting progressively more upset. There is nothing wrong with taking time on an action, but this was so long that it didn't make sense and even the teacher, Michelle Danner, told him there was too much lag time. In other words, the audience was totally zoning out! Anyway, the concepts in writing and acting are very similar for the stage and screen--there needs to be action motivated by a deeper reason. The reasons are usually tied to the story goals. This is where the director comes in. I totally see how actors can get bogged down with wayward action without the guidance of a director. It is a director's job to motivate all of the movements and make sure they are serving the purpose of the scene. I felt like a lot of the scenes that the actors performed from plays involved lots of walking aimlessly on stage. Very distracting and not really serving deeper goals. So, it'll be exciting as a director taking the class to guide some of the scenes and help with the blocking. It is great for me to see how the principles of creating drama are the same for all of the disciplines--motivated action is key!