another indie filmmaker

New Blog

2009-11-21T10:18:00.001-08:00

So... I've decided to migrate my blog to Tumblr. It's kind of a pain, but i think their interface and simplicity might serve my needs a little better. I might set up some kind of forwarding, but for now, you can get there by going to:

http://www.leenap.com/

Thanks for reading, hope you'll follow me as we begin our journey of screening the movie!

Next moments...

2009-11-02T14:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a crazy few months, and finally, it looks like our film is basically done. We've been working on audio mastering then the picture mastering, and have spent the past couple of weeks ironing out various technical issues, but finally, finally... We are basically done. It's an amazing thing to be at this stage of the process, it feels really quite, like some sort of calm before the storm? I don't know, we are starting to now work on screenings, some closed one for investors, then festivals, of course, and then possibly a theatrical run in a couple of places... It's exciting, but weird at the same time, everything feels so... Quiet. It's nice, because between moving, teaching and finishing this movie, I have been beyond nuts. I have a little bit of angst about how this movie will find its way into the world, but I think this is the part where you have to faith that some good things will happen with it. I know they will, we've come this far and worked this hard, it's totally crazy to now think about actually showing the movie. Very exciting!

Crazy Months

2009-10-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

The past eight weeks of my life have been totally insane. On a personal note, my hubbie and I decided to buy a place in Culver City. We have been living in Santa Monica for four years, and totally love it, but we had wanted a bigger space, and had thought about about buying. We weren't hardcore about it, but we would look, but the prospects in Santa Monica were bleak--lots of great places that were way, way out of our price range. Anyway, so we started looking in Culver, and found a couple of cute homes that were doable. One went away right when we decided to get on it, and another opened up. We went through a lot of ups and downs in ultimately deciding, but we went ahead, and here we are... Love having the space and place, still getting adjusted to the neighborhood. On the movie front, we've spent the last few weeks polishing the score, working on the sound mix and solidifying our vfx. It's been a good process overall, as we've been working with some really amazing people. As of last week, the film is officially done! It's so hard to believe, and I'm def going through a broad range of emotions having worked on this for so long... But it's also really exciting, now we have to figure out our screening and distribution plan. We've already got a lot of companies sales agents, etc we need to send the project to, and of course, we are starting the festival run. This part of the process is nerve racking, too, because it's all about hustling on a different level and working hard to just get the film out... So, we shall see!

How does it feel?

2009-08-25T09:30:00.001-07:00

Being at this stage of the process, I mean, nearing the end, is a good feeling because we're no longer undertaking the very abstract task of raising the money for something that doesn't exist. It's cool to see all of the little pieces come together like the visuals, sound, music, fx, titles and all of that too. But then of course, nearing the finish line opens up a whole new bag of questions, anxieties and just general stress, because the main question now, of course, is, what's next? Where does this movie go? Where does it screen and how does one see it? This is actually my least favorite part of the process, because people, esp festival programmers, some of whom have no idea of how grueling it is to raise money and make a film, get to reject you in an instant. I hate this feeling of standing on the side of the road and basically waiting for someone to "pick us up" so to speak... Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a terrible way of doing things. With our little movie, I of course, want to traverse the festival circuit as far and wide as we can, but I also want to be more proactive in setting up distribution. For a feature, all of the festival stuff is great, but I really think it's more important to get the movie out to people and get it screened. I think with indie films, it's easy to feel like the "world is against you" kind of mentality, but I really think that there is an audience out there for everything, you just have to be smart in finding it. So, as we complete the movie, we face one of the most challenges tasks of all, getting out there and screening it. Should be an interesting journey.

What's been going on?

2009-08-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a seemingly crazy summer with completing post and starting on music and sound. This part of the process is sometimes stressful, because it's even more detail oriented than editing, if you can believe that! Sound and music are really finite, I mean, it's very tough to work on these elements until the picture is locked, and for a director picture lock is well, beyond stressful... But we've gotten past all that and are now approaching the music being finalized. I hired my talented friend Jesse Clark to score the film, and brought in a few friends like, singer-song writer duo, Fair and Kind, and my friend Robin to add a bit of tabla. We were in the studio recording music one afternoon, which was really fun. Now, we're dealing with ADR, sound, Vfx and color grading. I'm excited for the color grading because it'll be the first time I can see our Red footage at 2K. We shot at 4K but have decided to finish at 2K, using the 2:35 aspect ratio. I think it will look pretty :) The next part of the process, getting the film out there, will have all kinds of challenges, I know. It's a little daunting, but it'll be fun to actually show the movie after working on it for so long!

Changes...

2009-07-23T11:05:00.000-07:00

As a screenwriter, it's hard at times to think past the written document you're creating. But having gone through the directing, editing and now music/sound process with the movie, you realize there are so many layers of storytelling in a movie... As the writer, you are creating the structure of the story and developing the characters. The in terms of directing, you are rendering the world real--I think as a director, it is very important to be able to think in a completely visual way without totally worrying about story per say, or what is on the page. You want to manipulate the camera in a way that really and truly engages the narrative and makes it as interesting as possible. It is tough as a first-time director to take risks, but I think it's imperative... Our editing process has been a bit tough because the story changed in many ways... It's still the same movie, but we re-structured and re-arranged to make it all gel together better... Now with music and sound, we are really building upon that to fill out the emotional and subtextual layers... So much goes into making one movie, it's truly amazing...

Making It Your Own.

2009-07-06T15:58:00.001-07:00

I have been catching up on some writing while working on RM over the past month or so. It had a while since I had worked on any of my scripts, but I've been meeting some new managers lately, and I wanted to polish up a couple of my pieces. When writing a script, there is always this question of when something is complete, will it ever be complete? When I wrote RM, I went through so many drafts. It was draft after draft. It was hard because in the beginning, I wasn't clear on my own personal goals and how I wanted to tell that story, so I let other people shape and then re-shape the vision. There was especially once writing teacher I had who is good, but he's very dogmatic about how he believes a story should be written. Anyway, I left that group, stopped with any/all writing workshops, stopped getting feedback, and started spending long hours on my script, deciding and defining it the way I wanted. It was hard, but as I began to listen to my own voice rather that that of others, it began to take a clear shape. This is the same process I recently went through with the rough cut for the film. I got so many notes, I feel completely overwhelmed, and at one point, unclear about what the movie was about. Then, I took a break and I came back to some clear conclusions about the final edits. It was kind of a grueling process, but it's important to always, always remember your own voice, intentions and goals with anything in life, really. I have a new screenplay I am finishing. It's taken me a long time to be clear about the story, but I finally feel like it's getting there. I definitely will still get notes, but I now know how to parse through them and clearly get the work to be what I want it to be.

Facebook Page

2009-06-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

The power of social networking is a little overwhelming at times, but it's a pretty amazing tool. Join us on Facebook for more updates, all things Raspberry!

Raspberry Magic Trailer

2009-05-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Check it out:

After a few months of going back and forth and really figuring it out, the trailer for Raspberry Magic is finally up. Tell us what you think, join us on Facebook!

Re-Writing in Post

2009-05-11T10:04:00.001-07:00

We've been deep in the post production process for the past few months, and it's certainly been challenging. After you actually shoot the movie and put the footage together, you realize what is working and what is not with the film. It's like, even if you have great coverage, I mean lots of shots of everything, the most important consideration is this--the emotional arc/beats of your story. Ultimately, shots are just shots, but they really mean nothing unless viewers really and truly connect with your characters and the ideas in the story. Often, those idea are conveyed one way in the script, then another on the screen. In our film, which is a pretty heavy dramatic piece, there is this whole consideration of how our protagonist, Monica, relates to the plants. Plants, of course, are inanimate objects, and visually, it is challenging to SHOW her connection to them. In some of our early test screenings, folks weren't totally getting the connection, even though visually, I shot things differently as the story progresses. So, what to do? Well, I had always thought that this movie potentially would need Voice Over. Some kind of narration to really get into Monica's head and develop her science project on a deeper level. I was somewhat against it in the beginning, but as we added it, and started screening the piece for people, it was a whole different experience. People really got what Monica's connection to the plants was, and how her character grew/changed. Now, the VO I presently have in there is clunky and awkward, but I'm spending the next few weeks re-writing and polishing it. I think it will be good, once the writing is good... Anyway, lots of work to do this summer on all fronts!

Beat Downs

2009-04-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

Doesn't blogging seem so old school compared to twittering? I Should be on that whole wagon, but I'm really just not. I'm okay with being old school for now...

Editing the film has been a roller coaster ride, as I expected. There is so much to do, so many processes to go through, it's pretty damn overwhelming. But I think with some tough notes, hard screenings and a few more beats downs, we will get there... It's strange, when you spend so many long hours in the cutting room, you start to lose sight what's working and what's not. I am a big, big believer in constant screenings for the movie, once you have something that looks/feels like and actual movie. Those screenings can be brutal, but they are so, so needed!

It's Been Forever

2009-04-09T11:47:00.001-07:00

Yes, it's been a long time since I last posted, mostly because I've been totally obsessed with the post production of Raspberry Magic. Editing the film is all consuming, sort of like writing all over again. Yeesh. It's a very hard process because sometimes you have to restructure things, cut things and reshape portions of the movie that aren't working. We're in a good place, but now we are starting to get notes, which is exciting and daunting, because it means that you really get to see/feel where the movie is at. I think we're in a good place, but you never really know until a bigger audience sees it. I've been really stressed out through this whole process, but I'm finally coming up for air.....

Coverage

2009-03-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

I've been spending some very long hours in the cutting room for the past couple of weeks. It's a tough process, sort of like writing a draft of the screenplay one more time. Going through every scene and really making it pop for the performances, story and overall arc of the film isn't easy. You see what worked and what didn't and how the film can be improved. I have to say, as a first time director, you are trying to simply just get the footage during the shoot. But then in post, you can really see where you might have gotten too much coverage, and other places where you might have had too little. The great part bout editing is that if something isn't working, you can take away, substitute or alter in order to make something flow better. Also, there is music and sound to really help fill the gaps where you might have left something out. I will say one thing, you can never really have too much coverage... The more you shoot, the better the options...

Where we're at

2009-03-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

So, it's been an exciting and stressful couple of weeks, because we finally have a first cut. I'm liking the cut, it definitely feels like a movie, but there is much, much work to do. The process of seeing something from the script to shooting then to the screen is very interesting. It's a good/tough process, in so many ways. As a director, I see what I did well and didn't do well, and as a writer, I have the chance to really see how an idea translates to the screen. We're restructuring many portions of the film, but it's getting there. Next week, I'll spend a lot of time really digging into the cut and fleshing it out... Should be interesting.

Is there room?

2009-02-20T12:59:00.001-08:00

I think it's fantastic that Slumdog has generated so much buzz and is a major contender for so many Oscars. It's very exciting for me, as an Indian American, that India and Indian culture is getting so much attention these days, too. A.R. Rahman was on Leno last night, amazing!! Hard to believe, especially when I grew up (in North Carolina) answering questions like, what the HELL is India? Or, ARE you Hawaiian? Or, what TRIBE are you in?? Very strange and different than my experience when I first moved to Berkeley for grad school, and I had some classmates who would always feel the need to out-Indian me (in naming restaurants, cultural practices, etc), since they had gone to India on a spiritual journey to discover deeper inner truths about themselves... But I digress. Anyway, Slumdog is a great film not only because of its stunning visuals, but it's a great human story that touches people on so many levels. That's what I love so much about the movie--it's got no big stars, it was almost shelved and yet, it triumphed. But, I think in many circles, the film has brought up a larger questions about Western filmmakers going to Third World countries to depict poverty and the strife of "the other." It seems that this type of film is what generates Oscar buzz and generally, it's what folks want to see in the Western world. But what about films that are the reverse like mine which show the opposite? Indians in the Western world? These types of films are a much, much tougher sell, I believe, and not many have broken ground, except say, a Bend it Like Beckham. I think there is a diaspora being created here with films like mine, films which show the other side, but it's tough to say how these movies will fit into a larger culture. One this is for sure, though, I'm guessing there's a whole spate of Slumdog wanna-bes in the pipeline. Should be an interesting year, getting this movie out!!

Assembly Edit

2009-02-19T11:15:00.001-08:00

I just had the pleasure of seeing the assembly edit of our film. An assembly basically takes all of the footage that's been shot and places it into the timeline in script order. It was an interesting thing to see it all laid out this way, especially without any music and really just mostly master shots. As you might already know, a film gets written three times, and in the edit phase is the final time. Watching this cut, I could tell some things right away--which performances stood out, which visuals worked and what we needed to do to tighten up the overall pacing of the movie. It's a little nerve racking as the writer/director to go through this process, but you learn so much, and you see that the movie can be shaped in so, so many different ways. I think we have some really good material, and I'm sure our editor will shape it in the best possible way... But I learned a lot about the directing process, here are a few things:

1. Pacing (for actor actions) should be quicker. I think first time directors tend to move things slowly, but I realize, things can move a bit faster, especially simple actions.

2. Get as many wide shots of exterior elements as possible. These wide shots are so helpful in editing transitions, especially to establish a sense of place between different elements.

3. Get as many entrances and exits between places as possible. Sounds silly, but these are so, so helpful in the edit room. Even if you don't think you need those elements, you will!!

4. If you don't like the performance in the moment, you're going to hate it even more later. It's critical to keep doing the take until you get what you want. I think especially watching for moments of overacting are crucial. Go back and do it again and again until you get it, else it's not going to work later.

5. Don't be afraid to have an actor play a take several different ways. In the edit, you can steer the emotional arc in many different ways, and you just don't know which one will work best. Obviously, you should know what you want from the actor, but sometimes, it's not bad to get another version!

Translating Visuals to the Screen

2009-02-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

I recently had the chance to see the film version of Doubt, which I thought was brilliantly done. I had seen the play on stage and read it on the page, too. The question of which was best was tough for me to answer, because the stage and the screen are two very different mediums, and I believe that each one was very well done in its own right. But translating the ideas to the screen, they had to do a number of things to make it more engaging--bring it into the realm of a visual medium. All of these elements were crucial in realizing the play as a movie:

1. They had to break up some of the long speeches except for the sermons. If they had translated all of the dialogue to the screen as it was written in the play, it would have been really tough to watch of film because nothing would have been happening. Already, there isn't much action in the play in the sense that all of it is conveyed through talking, but was good that they broke it up. I noticed that their key way of breaking it up was to have the character move through several locations--they walk from the cafeteria to the office, etc. while delivering the lines.

2. They had to create a sense of space beyond just the sister's office. In the play, much of the action takes play in sister's office, in the courtyard and in the church. The play is very minimalist in its sense of space, as it should be, because the emphasis is on the words. In the film, they used many places throughout the school, and they definitely defined with world right outside of the window, showing the New York streets. These visuals definitely helped to add another layer of meaning to the movie.

3. They externalized some of the events which were only talked about in the play. In the play, they talk about "Donald" drinking wine, etc, and the talked about the younger nun's teaching style, but in the film, they showed these. Again, film is a visual, action-oriented medium, and in order to really fill out the world of the movie and give us a deeper sense of what happened, they showed us the world which was only talked about in the play.

4. They used ambiance as a way to add dramatic tension into the story. The open window, the rain, the snow, and the magnificence of the church were all cleverly shot to add dramatic tension into the story. They did a great job of using space visually to add small moments of meaning into the film. I also liked their use of green and yellow to represent the different worlds of the nuns versus the priests.

5. They added characters to fill out the world and make it more real. The play is minimalist, four characters, a couple of locations telling this story. But in the film, they added nuns, students and a whole world in the school to make it real. It added layers of meaning, especially because they were able to externalize many of the ideas that were spoken about in the play, into the world of the movie.

It's a great exercise to read the play and then watch the film, to understand how the mediums are so very different and see how someone with serious skills, like John Patrick Shanely, was able to do both so well.

What's Going On?

2009-02-02T10:11:00.001-08:00

I don't need to tell you this, but these are troubled times. The economy is falling apart, folks are losing their jobs, and it just seems like things are generally bad. I feel really lucky that we were able to get our film in the can at the end of last year, and get it into post production right away. The indie film market is pretty bleak, as well, and Sundance was pretty mellow this year. But, as an artist and a creator, I am trying really hard to stay focused on the task at hand, which is to complete this movie and get it out, then work on new material. Last year, while I was in the midst of putting together this feature, I was a finalist for the Sundance labs for another screenplay of mine called, RK Dandekar Finds Home. It's another small, indie film, one which I'd really like to make at some point. It still needs to go through some re-writes, but I really like it and think it would be fun to make. I also have a political comedy, which is now on the third draft, and I'm really hoping to have a polished draft pretty soon. All the while, I am anticipating the first cut of Raspberry, which our editor will have at the end of this month. We're starting discussions on music, titles, distribution, publicity and more while we wait. It's hard to totally gauge these things while waiting for the cut, but I've always had a fairly clear vision for the titles, so my husband, the designer, can start on the boards. Who knows how things are going to turn out, I mean, with everything going on, I'm just trying to stay focused on the task at hand!

Red Camera

2009-01-27T15:45:00.001-08:00

Having recently wrapped production on Raspberry Magic, I'm anticipating the first cut in a big way. Editing Red footage has become considerably easier than it was even six months ago, according to our editor, so I'm very happy about that. We basically shot 3.5 terrabytes of footage, then our editor spent two weeks transcoding the footage into a DVC Pro format, which he could then edit. We used Zeiss Standard Prime Lenses, and a Cooke 250mm one day. The footage had a nice look to it, and I was able to watch the takes on a 17" monitor. Many folks tried to persuade us not to shoot on Red in the beginning, but I'm glad (so far) we did, as the footage looks really nice, and we are going to be able to do something interesting things with the color grading. There are so many formats out there right now, sometimes it's hard to know what to choose. For a long time, I really wanted to shoot on Super 16mm, but then I realized all of the film processing would be too expensive, time consuming and I wasn't sure if I could manage with so many child actors on the project. But actually, our children were quite mature and I never really had to deal with multiple takes for this reason. But time was a major issue, especially with the kids. Some days, I did 15-20 setups!! I had to be really fast and know exactly what I wanted out of each setup, which was super stressful. But moving the Red, re-syncing, etc had its moments, but overall, it was fairly quick. It'll be interesting to see how things change/develop with the Red over the next six months, as there are so many features which have recently shot on this camera. It's nice, though, there are so many post houses here in LA that do an incredible job with the color grading and output back to 2K, it'll be interesting.

Lesa Terry and the Women's Jazz Orchestra

2009-01-22T18:30:00.000-08:00

Lesa Terry and and the Women's Jazz Orchestra from Leena Pendharkar on Vimeo.

I directed this short doc as part of the UCLA World Festival of Sacred Music in the midst of prepping for the feature. A little crazy, but it was a fun piece to do!

Press on Raspberry Magic!

2009-01-08T22:29:00.001-08:00

Check out this article on the wonderful young stars in Raspberry Magic:

Raspberry Magic in Inspire Magazine

How Does it Feel?

2009-01-08T14:53:00.000-08:00

I recently completed principal photography on my feature film debut, Raspberry Magic. Many people have asked me how it feels, and I say that it feels amazing, I'm so, so happy to not be thinking at every moment, is it going to happen? Then the next question many people ask is, how did it happen? It took many years and there were a series of many different events that I believe really helped pull it all together. In my past, say, 7 years ago, I graduated from the UC-Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism with a Master's Degree in Documentary Film Production. I had done quite a lot of journalistic writing throughout my youth, and simultaneously was involved in web/graphic design. Also, I was very interested in social issues, and decided that earning my master's in the documentaries would be the way to go--it combined visual storytelling with meaning, depth. While there, I continued to write for a number of publications, and I also wrote some fiction, which I had been doing already. I also interned in documentary film in many different capacities--assistant editor, researcher, etc. Then I made my thesis doc, Dreaming in Code. It played at some festivals and got some press. Then, I got a grant to make My Narmada Travels. It played in some festivals, won some awards, then aired on television. But around that time, I was burnt out on docs and feeling like I really wanted to expand my world. I didn't feel like docs were my calling, like I could keep doing it. So, I worked as a Production Coordinator on a film called Happily Even After. I loved that experience. I loved narrative filmmaking, everything felt so succinct, clear cut and I loved that everything was planned, there was so much room for creativity. Also, by that time, I had been writing screenplays and I realized that this was my calling, I loved it. So... I ended up becoming friends with some people from the film and shot my narrative short, This Moment. That film screened in some festivals and ended up being purchased by some schools. Around that time, I had written Raspberry Magic. It was a mess, my writing was all over the place, but it was a finalist for the Sundance labs, and I had a few people who thought it had potential. I kept re-writing and revising it, and wrote a few other things in between. A few agents liked it, but said it was too small and too indie, and that I should find a indie producer to help me. It took years of hustle, struggle, stress and self doubt, but finally, we got the film in the can...

What's Next

2009-01-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

They say that in the process of making a movie, it gets written three times, once when the script is actually written, then when it's shot, then when it's edited. So now, we enter the next phase of the filmmaking process, the post production. This is the part, for a director, that can sometimes be tough because you realize what you did well and what you didn't do well. You see how the movie is really going to look and feel. Overall, I'm excited to see how it comes together, but of course, I have the usual anxieties of whether I got enough coverage, if the locations worked and if I got the performances I wanted. Another question, of course was, how will this edit together overall? As I said, this whole process of shooting out of order is a bit nutty, but as you're shooting, you really start to feel how how the movie will cut together, especially as you remember what you did scene to scene. In the edit, as the film gets written for the third time, things will be moved and shuffled around in ways I might never have imagined. But really, at this stage, it's about putting the images together to mine the dramatic goals of each scene. We'll see how that goes!

It's a Wrap!

2008-12-30T10:52:00.001-08:00

The past eight weeks of my life have been more insane than I could ever have imagined, but we did it! After two years of raising money, we finally made it all happen and shot the film! Directing a feature film is an entirely different experience than making a short film--it was hard, it was challenging, the days were long, but I really enjoyed directing. Of course, there are many things I'll do differently next time, but there were so many things I didn't anticipate, some of which include:

1. Questions, questions and more questions. As the director, you are the creative visionary for every aspect of the movie. I didn't realize how many questions I would be answering all the time, like do you want a blue vase or a red one? Do you like the sea green or the kale green? I think next time, I will definitely have a long and involved pre-production period so many of these questions are answered in advance. Of course, there will still be more questions, but thinking through a large number of the details ahead of time can totally help.

2. There is no time to think. Again, in the moment of directing a movie, you are exhausted beyond belief and there is just too much to do. I don't think this would change on a 20 day shoot or a 90 day shoot. There will never, ever be enough time, money and help to get everything, so, as the director, you really and truly have to know what you what from each scene. In other words, it is good to know the blocking and coverage in advance because in the moment, there is no time to think, just time to execute. I knew what I wanted from many of my scenes up front, and the DP and I had gone through much of our coverage in advance, but still, directing is really the art of being decisive under extreme physical and mental stress. I think I got through it gracefully, but still, I didn't know just how tough it would be.

3. Shooting out of order is a much bigger challenge than I expected. Of course, we all know that feature films are shot completely out of order to maximize time in the locations and according to actors' schedules. I didn't anticipate how challenging it would truly be to think this way--out of order. I had gone through my script and made notes on all of the emotions for each scene, but it's still tricky because in my story, the growth of the plants was challenging to keep track of. It was like, okay, is this the point at which they grow or not and how does that relate back to what it happening in the narrative? Very tough.

4. Working with children was a pleasure. I wasn't sure of what to expect in working with children, because it was my first time. But we cast some really wonderful and amazing child actors who were an absolute pleasure to work with. I never had to cut or slow down production because of the kids, so that was a total joy.

5. Working with extras is incredibly stressful. What you really need is excellent crowd control in working with extras. During the science fair scenes, we had over a hundred extras, all of which I was directing at one point. I had a mega phone and a plan in terms of what I wanted, but it's still hard because choreographing their movements and staging the blocking in the moment takes precision, timing and silence, something that's clearly not easy in a large gym full of people.

6. Did I mention exhaustion? I knew it would be tiring, but I didn't fully get it. As the director, things cannot move forward unless you are there, so you are pretty much on set all the time, standing for 15 hour stretches. Most of the time, I felt like eating was a huge burden that I didn't want to be bothered with, as well, but then I realized that I needed to have energy to make it through the days, so I would try to snack a bit here and there, but I def shed a few pounds through the shoot. The tricky thing also was that there were in some tough situations weather-wise, like the cold, fog and rain of NorCal, and of course, this year, it was unusually chilly. The kids all hated the cold, and so did I, but I always kept a positive outlook towards it, just so we could get through it. (yeah, isn't this hail just beautiful??)

Anyway, more to come, but these are a few small, initial insights...

The Journey Begins

2008-11-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

It's been a very long and arduous road in terms of raising the financing for Raspberry Magic, particularly during these very tough and uncertain times. But somehow, we've pulled together and made it happen. It's been very exciting with casting the movie and pulling together all of the locations. Now is the time, I can't believe we're almost ten days out from shooting. I'm extremely excited, but I'm also nervous, anxious, etc. Either way, it should be a very interesting journey... Stay tuned for more when there is time!

Hope!

2008-11-05T11:34:00.001-08:00

It's a really hopeful time for our country with Obama as our next president. I was out last night at a club and people were there waving American flags. It felt like an amazing moment, like waving an American flag had an all together different meaning than it has in the past. My father called me so excited about the change, his comment was that if Obama can be president, then anyone can truly do anything in life. It sounds ridiculous, but Obama's winning the presidency parallels my journey of making a first feature. I few years ago, I had no idea of how in the world I would make this happen. I was just another filmmaker with a few scripts and short films under my belt. But now, it's hard to believe that we're only twenty five days out from shooting the movie. It's here, it's happening and it's super exciting. Like Obama's journey as president, the production of the movie isn't going to be easy. It's going to be filled with bumps along the way, but as long as everyone maintains faith, positivity and overall good vibes, it'll all come together.

Thirty Days Away

2008-11-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe we're about 30 days away from shooting. It's a really exciting time as everything comes together with the cast, crew, locations and much more. I am working on setting up many of the shots and thinking through the performances, and my producer is swamped with pulling together all of the logistics. I go through a wide range of emotions on a minute by minute basis with fear, anxiety, excitement, nervousness and so many other things wrapped up in one. I guess other directors might feel the same way, too, it's a bit crazy, especially since this is my first feature. All I want to do is make a great film, beyond that, there are so many things that are out of my control. We have a great team of cast and crew coming together to make this happen, which is super exciting. Filmmaking is such a collaborative medium, it's very important to work with people are good, reliable, trustworthy and have an overall positive vibe. I have been having some long conversations with the DP about shots, as well as with the PD on setting up some of the scenes, and making sure we make the world feel real and believable. All of the pieces are definitely coming together, it's super exciting!

From Script to Screen

2008-10-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

I'm deep in casting, locations scouting and figuring out the shot selections for Raspberry Magic. It's all very exciting! I've learned so much about writing from actually making the film, here are a few things:

1. Don't waste too much time with pointless details of the setting. By "pointless", I mean, there is no need to give tons of ambiance and details, unless it very directly motivates the story or there is action around something. I spent too much time in my script describing the exteriors of the school, and it proved to be silly. I mean, middle school is middle school, right? The main thing is that it looks like that, a middle school.

2. Define spatial relationships, but keep them as simple as possible. Again, once you start scouting, you'll have to deal with how locations relate from one to another. In other words, how do we move from the house to the forest? It's good to set up the sense of place as clearly as possible in the script, so that when you start thinking about locations, it makes sense. On the other hand, it's good to be a bit flexible, too, because you never know how you'll have to cheat the locations.

3. Every, single role in the screenplay matters, because if you make the film, you'll have to cast someone for every role. To that effect, you want to think through each part--do you truly need it? What does it add to the story? In RM, we recently read for parts like the judges, cops, etc and though the parts seem small, they really do matter.

4. Every, single line of dialogue in the screenplay matters. This is the beauty of being a screenwriter vs. being a novelist. Someone is going to bring your character to life, and that someone will want to how, what's my motivation? How am I feeling? What am I thinking? Sometimes, when you create someone on the page, you don't think about these things. But then, you are asked these questions and you suddenly have to. It's a good thing, but unexpected as a writer!

5. I know writers shouldn't really worry about budgets when they create their work, but if you want to write a story that's meant to be shot as a low budget project, then keep things simple and low budget. I have a few tricky effects in my story that have been causing me a lot of stress. I can't take them out because they are central to the story, but geez, it's certainly a bit tricky!

Storyboarding and Directing

2008-10-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty deeply involved with making the film now, and the pressure is certainly on. We've been having some really great casting sessions with both child and adult actors, and it's been quite promising. I'm excited and anxious at the same time about the prospects! In terms of the directing, for some time, I 've been a bit nervous about preparing for directing the film. For me, this movie is all about emotion and subtext, so the performances really do have to pop. I've always been unsure of how much storyboards help with directing, but my husband has been storyboarding the key scenes out for me, and I have to say, it's been so, so helpful in terms of seeing the movie. Not only that, but it also forces me to think about actors' actions, motivation and overall story flow. The thing with storyboarding is that it would be immensely difficult to draw out all of the coverage for each scene, but what we're doing is laying out a general look/feel of the scene, then from THAT, I'll actually figure out the coverage. My method is to use storyboards and photos of the locations to then come up with a floor plan and a coverage list. I used to feel a bit ambiguous about this process before, but now I get it. Basically, the boards and locations photos help me think about defining space, defining space then helps me think about motivation and action, which then in turn creates story flow. This process helps me basically conceptualize the general ideas, then I can get more specific from there. A lot of the specifics will change as we get to the set, at least I have some rough idea of what I want. The boards are also super helpful in terms of communicating with the DP, Production Designer, gaffer and other key crew folks.

Scouting in Oakland

2008-10-21T12:44:00.001-07:00

Casting/Locations

2008-10-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty deep in casting sessions for a number of different roles. This is the fun stuff, especially after you've spent so many years writing something. I love how actors come to the table with their own, fresh perspective on the material. It's so great when they come in and read the character in a way you never imagined. Reading kids has also been very interesting, there are so many talented kids out there, and I'm amazed by how so many have agents and have been working at it for so long. What's made this process pleasurable is working with a casting director. Basically, she filters through all of the noise, and brings us the best folks. Our casting director is really great, and I believe she really gets the overall vision of the film. On another note, I spent the weekend in SF scouting several locations. Things are really coming together, I can't believe we're shooting so soon!

Just Because We're not Big Budget

2008-10-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe that just because we're small and "low budget," it doesn't mean we have to appear that way. I mean this in every sense of the word, too, because there are so many ways to do a lot with a little, especially these days. For example, you can start with a business card. It goes without saying that if you work in visual media, you better have a good looking card. It's sort of the first "impression" of what your work looks like. You can do a fairly good looking card with services like vistaprint.com and others out there. The trick is getting some help from a designer or someone with a keen eye for design and layout. Then, getting some help from someone who knows Photoshop well and can show you how to properly upload the artwork so it looks great. We're lucky because I was a web designer before I got into film, and my husband is a wonderful illustrator, so that helped. But paying attention to all of the details, even the presentation layout is a good idea, as well. Megha and I spent a lot of time putting together the look/feel of our presentation, using images we went out and took, then spending quite a bit of time to pick out a color scheme, the proper folders and other materials. As we're moving ahead, we're using this same strategy for the movie. I am working on thinking through all of the details, like the specific shot compositions, and using small, inexpensive ways to make them visually innovative. For me, this goes back to the basic framing and how I can add depth of field and texture to each shot. We can't afford fancy cranes and tons of movement, but that's okay with me, it's much more about emotion and context for me in this film...

Ebb and Flow

2008-10-09T15:30:00.001-07:00

With the economy falling apart and times just being incredibly unstable, it feels a bit strange to carry on with something as seemingly trite as making an indie film. There have been a few moments over the past few weeks when I've really felt a little lost with the economy going to shit, people losing their jobs left and right and things just being generally weird. But last week, when I felt a particular moment of anxiety, my husband and I took a walk on the beach. We were walking close to the waves, watching the water wash upon the shore. Watching wave after wave roll through and gently break into the sad, it made me realize, that no matter what is happening in the world of human beings, life carries on, nature continues its course and things simply move ahead whether we like it or not. Watching television or the news, we are constantly inundated with images of turmoil, craziness and fright. The images and the headlines really, really get to me, and I feel this dull ache in the pit of my stomach as I see it all happening. Then I take a step outside and I remember the waves. Not that any of this makes things easier, but I try to constantly remind myself that there is an ebb and flow to life, that what comes up must come down and vice versa. So yes, making an indie film probably is trite in this moment of strife when people are losing their homes and jobs, but I believe that if we all shut down and stop doing what we're supposed to be doing, then we are somehow giving in to this natural movement and flow. As I've mentioned before, maybe it really is in times like these that we need art, beauty and hope. I know I could use all of those things.

Production Design

2008-10-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

Production Design and "the creation of the world" in RM is fairly straight forward in that it is def. middle America, with a small hint of Indian flavor. I like quirky elements like weird mismatched glasses, table settings and home layouts that aren't perfect and things as such. I do have a production designer in mind and am super excited to work with her. The tricky part of this movie are two elements in terms of the production design: the first is the science fair. This is challenging first of all because we have to create posters, artwork and other elements that make the fair feel like a real fair. The other tricky part is, of course, getting extras, never an easy task, especially on a low budget. Filmmaking may seem glamorous to those who sign on as extras, but doing the same thing over and over again for 8 to 10 hours gets old real quick. So yes, finding the extras, especially the kids will be a challenge. The other tricky as aspect of making this movie is the opening scene, which involved a kitchen pipe bursting. The production designer I've been talking to is fairly confident about this opening, but I'm still slightly nervous about it. I mean, we'll have to do it in a place where we can, of course, have a pipe blowing up, then fuse it together with other scenes of the kitchen, not exactly the easiest task. Other than those two scenes, I believe the PD will be fairly straight forward. It's exciting, moving ahead with the vision.

Preparing for the Shoot

2008-10-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm about seven weeks out from directing this movie, there is so much that has to happen. But the nice part at this stage is that we have other people helping us out. Until now, it's mostly been Megha and I doing everything. Now, we have a casting director and a line producer on which is super exciting, and we are moving ahead with a production designer and AD very soon. All of these things help. Now, I can focus on the job of directing, which is exciting. For me, the performances are crucial to this movie, because it's such a small and personal film. So, once we have everyone cast, it'll really be about working with the actors to get the performances I want. I know how I'm going to approach this, in the sense that I want to rehearse the actors for blocking and some movement, but I don't want to over rehearse them in terms of the performances, especially the kids. I am also starting to work on some shot lists and story boards. Story boards are helpful, but I also don't want to get too bogged down in them because I want the freedom to move in the moment. I want to create a look that has a bit of a surreal/dreaminess to the forest, and generally use some interesting movements to visually explore Monica's relationship to the plants. I have a lot of ideas visually in terms of how Monica's relationship to her plants will be shown/externalized, but of course, you'll have to see the movie to check those out! For me, this script is much more about the visuals and the way that the characters' relationships change to them than anything else...

Are you doing it, or not?

2008-10-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

There is a really great interview with Peter Sollet, the director of "Raising Victor Vargas" that really summed up where I'm at and what I've been going through, so I thought I would post it. For the whole interview, here's the link to Filmmaker Magazine, but here's the part I liked:

Filmmaker: If you could do it all over again, what would you change?

Sollett: I would say yes more often. I think that it would widen me. I have a tendency to not try new things when I should, but if you don't go, you'll never know. I'm trying to say yes as often as I can now and I think that is ultimately the key to continuing to make films. It's just never the perfect time – it's like having a kid, you know what I mean? [laughs] It's never the right time, the script's never just right, the edit is never just right, so it's always a leap of faith. For me, it's a question of training myself to take bigger leaps of faith. Dave Eggers wrote this essay, maybe in McSweeney's, and one of the sentences was “No is for pussies.” Now, Dave is not afraid to say no [laughs] – I've gotten to know him a little bit – and he may have been talking to himself a little bit in that piece, but I kind of agree.

Filmmaker: Which phrase best describes your philosophy on life?

Sollett: I don't have a [phrase that describes my] life philosophy, but I can start off with a movie philosophy. My favorite Cassavetes quote – here it is, very simple. He said, “You're either going to make the movie, or not make the movie.” What he meant by that was we're never going to have the money we need or the time we need or the help we need, but in spite of that we need to make a choice. Are we going to or are we not going to do this? I definitely apply that to my life too. It's always going to be kind of a mess, but either we're going to trudge forward and do this, or we're not. And to choose not to do it is no way to live. That's been a helpful quote from John for me. [laughs]

Cinematography

2008-10-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

I am super stoked as the various pieces of the movie come together. I'm working with my long time friend and collaborator, Jeffrey Chu, a brilliant cinematographer. I first met him many years ago when I was working as a production coordinator on a feature called, Happily Even After. Working on that film was a life changing experience, and it made me realize I wanted to be in narrative film. Anyway, Jeffrey shot This Moment, as well, and we had a good time doing it, so now he's back. We've been going back and forth on the look for RM, and I put together a "look book" so we could have a point of reference. I'm prob also working with the same gaffer as a did with This Moment. It's nice to work with some familiar folks, and very exciting to move ahead on everything!

Casting!

2008-09-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

It is exciting, we're now working with a casting director, Emily Schweber. She came highly recommended through a number of folks in mine and Megha's circle, and we're super stoked about working with her. She will be a huge help in casting all of the children and some of the other roles, especially the teacher and publisher. For the mother and father roles, we are working with the ever talented Meera Simhan (Date Movie) and Ravi Kapoor (Crossing Jordan). Then for the janitor, we've cast James Morrison (24, Jarhead)--we are very excited to be working with these talented actors!

Where We're At

2008-09-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

Making a feature film is already a highly complicated undertaking, and in times like these it becomes even more tough. Over the past few months, we watched the economic situation go from bad to horrible. This means it's that much more tough for us to raise money. I think folks who would have put in without any issues a few years back are now hesitant. What does this mean for us? Well, it's sort of tricky because we've raised quite a chunk (I think) to do something, but not all that we want. I've gone in huge circles over the past few months and been stressed about what to do. We decided back on Sept. 1 to proceed--simply make the film. It's been good since we made that decision. We've been working super hard--put out some calls for locations, and folks have responded. We're talked to a great casting director, and she has been responsive. But I do feel a constant sense of angst about this whole money thing. In other words, will we be okay? What will happen to us, making a feature at such a low budget? I mean, in moments when I really stress, I remind myself that all of my shorts were basically made for no budget (well, a couple thousand dollars and a credit card), and I still managed to make something, get it into festivals and even win a few awards. On the bright side, since the economy is so bad and production is slow even here in LA, there may be a chance to get some deals, which we are presently hustling. It isn't easy, but we def. having film and it's def. coming together.

McCain is Afraid

2008-09-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's my basic assessment of the situation, because we all know McCain has been MIA, not voting on jack shit for at least the past year. So why the rush to get back to "the people's business"? The first theory is that he's just plain afraid to debate Obama, because he knows his ass will get waxed. It's probably also a ploy to knock the dates for the VP debates out of whack, so maybe by some slim chance, Palin doesn't have to get her ass up there. Or most importantly, maybe McCain needs to get back to the "people's" business to bail his banking cronies out of the hole, to get his CEO homies the multi-million dollar severance packages they want. It's pretty fucking outrageous, for real. Get your ass up there and debate fool, it's an election!

The Plot Thickens

2008-09-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

A tumbling economy, a massive bailout financed by the taxpayers, a candidate who wants to pull of out of the debates, Bush inviting both McCain and Obama to discuss the situation... The plot just gets deeper and deeper, and honestly, it's all starting to sound like a... A movie!! Fiction really couldn't really make it any more interesting!!

Rallying a Team

2008-09-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

So, there is this whole process in filmmaking, particularly in Hollywood, where before you actually get a work made, you send your material (screenplay) out to managers, producers, agents and other people to get a team around you and actually make a movie. What happens is that you mostly get rejected. A lot of people tell you they're not interested, a lot of other people say it's not the right project, and others just don't respond. It takes a long time, and in some cases years, for this process to go through it's rightful cycle, and then you finally, finally you meet someone who really likes your work. Then slowly, that person brings in more people and so on. For some writers/filmmakers, it just happens quicker, maybe because the work was highly commercial or a very powerful person gravitated toward it. I used to think that that's how things worked, in general, like something would happen in an instant, but now I see that it really takes time. The whole thing, too, is that even when you start getting people in your corner, not everyone else is going to believe in the work. But what's really important is that you have that core team who believes in the work, so it doesn't really matter who else rejects you. With Raspberry Magic, I had a producer like the script, and then a manager. That manager hooked me up with talent, who in turn liked the script. That talent was able to bring on more talent, and with the producer, we were able to get a few investors. With those investors came more investors. Slowly but surely, we have made Raspberry Magic into a real, living/breathing entity. It's a long process, but I understand now how that process comes to fruition...

Dark Times

2008-09-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

It's hard to stay positive in these really difficult times, when basic things are a huge question mark. I mean, the fact that we can no longer completely trust the banks is a very scary thing. I went ahead and broke up the accounts for the Raspberry Magic, just to be safe. The whole economy and everything has got me feeling very restless and very uneasy about everything. While on a day to day basis everything is generally fine on my end, these are certainly very tough times to be an indie filmmaker. Money is tight and people who might ordinarily write a check without hesitation are now understandably nervous. On top of that, there have been incredibly bleak forecasts for selling indie films, as well. All of this has me feeling heavy, very heavy. But what do we do in times like these? Stop? Give up? forget about our aspirations? Seems like maybe that's the answer, and trust me, I have felt that way in many fleeting moments over the past couple of months. As corny as it sounds, though, these are truly the times when we have to simply do what we always do, and move forward. Especially as artists, now is a time when people need beauty, they need something that gives them hope and joy. For me, art has always played this role, and I feel more resolve than ever to keep going. In terms of making my film, we are basically there, all we need is $70K more to really be okay. Maybe it's not all of the money we originally wanted, and maybe there are compromises that will have to be made. But isn't this the nature of indie filmmaking? Shit, isn't this the nature of existing? And yes, there are many naysayers about indie film right now, but in reality, I think that once things settle down, the market for indie film is going to be much, much better than it ever was before, I think this could happen over the next few months, too. The current business model for indie filmmaking basically sucks. You make a movie, and then you basically stand on a street corner and beg someone to pay you for it. Megha and I have always been very clear that our strategy to bring RM to market will be much more comprehensive than just getting picked up at a festival. In our business plan, it is outlined much like the way Peter Broderick recently described on indie wire, in his new model for selling movies. His approach is what we have taken all along, to break up the distribution among many entities so that we have control. And, we've been exploring some very new and exciting places that are dying for content like ours, a family film. On some level, even though things are tough right now, it feels like the right/perfect time to make Raspberry Magic. I mean, it's a story about a family falling apart due to debt and the father's job loss, and a girl trying to figure out how to handle it. I personally went through this a few times when I was growing up, I mean, my dad losing his job and being nervous/confused about it, so I can relate to all of you out there dealing with tough times. That's really the essence of RM, and that's why I have to get it out there.

F*****ing Keynote!

2008-09-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, Megha and I are doing an audio pitch of our presentation to a group of people up in the Bay which is great, it really is, but the problem is, we've had so many issues in Keynote, I'm about to go nuts. Basically, we have a beautiful presentation we do for people, usually in person. This time, we wanted to add narration over then export it. No big deal, right??? Especially since the latest version of Keynote promises this feature. As if it isn't already hard to enough to record the talk in one, long take, the other issue is that we had to cut it way, way down. Finally, after getting it just right, we learned that there is a major, major glitch in the audio output of Keynote. Basically, the sound either does not make it out at all, or when it does come out, it's totally and completely choppy. I thought I could bring it all into Final Cut Pro and fix it up pretty easily, but no, of course not. After many long hours of tinkering and outputting then re-outputting, I came up with the following solution: I imported the audio into iMovie, then exported it as a .aiff. Then, I basically timed all of the slides in Keynote, then recorded them to that time using a damn stopwatch, yes, a stopwatch. This is because there is no timeline function in Keynote that really makes this work. Then, like some people on the boards mentioned, I outputted using the Apple Codec--this is the key to getting rid of that choppy ass audio. I believe that Keynote outputs audio to QT in some strange way which causes all the issues. Finally, I joined the two tracks right in Quicktime. The Apple discussion board was so, so helpful, a savior, really. Next time around, I would just record the audio in GarageBand, then put it under Keynote... Now, I've just got to burn/label the DVDs and I'll be good to go...........

Hectic but moving...

2008-09-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's been super hectic lately with my semester of teaching starting and the movie ramping up. I also made it through the first round of the Sundance labs, so I finally turned in my script last week, which was good, but a crazy taxi driver hit me on the way over, go figure (long story). Anyway, since we made the decision to shoot Dec. 1, things have been moving forward at full speed. We've been going back and forth in terms of what camera to shoot on, but we finally decided--The Red. Megha and I were undecided before, only because we've heard about some difficulties in post. But we met with a good colorist and generally technical guy last week who went through the process with us and assured us that it would be fine. My DP is on the wait list for the camera, so I hope he gets it soon, else we'll have to rent it. But I'm excited about shooting on it, only because the depth and color range is pretty wide, and once we put some 35mm lens on it, the images will look stunning, especially the forest. We are also going to be working with a really good casting director, which will make things a lot easier in terms of finding the right kids. We have some great leads on the adults, but the kids are a little harder. Now comes the fun part for me, as well, finally, after all of this raising money (which still isn't over), I will be directing. Yes, what I set out to do in the first place, direct a movie. So, I'm already thinking a bit about different elements (have been forever), but now, I will start thinking about setups, in terms of each scene. Before I do that, I plan to go through the screenplay and look at each scene for subtext, motivation and deeper visual undertones. I know it seems weird to do this, especially since I'm the one who wrote it, but I now want to put my director hat on and start thinking about the movie visually. It's pretty exciting, but I'll feel a little better about it all once we get more team members on board and some of the logistical elements come together!

Time to step up...

2008-09-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

Watching the political debates this time around has been fascinating. Palin coming out of wood work, the first black president, etc. Even though I was pretty put off by Palin's background (just imagine if Obama had a pregnant teen-aged daughter, he would have been out of there a long, long time ago!!), I have to say that she carried herself very well in her speech. She came off as being, well, an ordinary American poised to do extraordinary things (I'm sure a presidential bid is in her future). But I couldn't help but feel disgusted the entire time, especially with all of the fierce and harsh attacks against Obama and the same fear-based rhetoric about terrorism. The Republicans have done a damn good job of painting Obama as a candidate with little substance and thin experience. Now, the Dems really, really need to step up their game. It's time to really push the facts: the economy has been miserable under the Republicans, the Republicans have very little or new ideas for a greener future. (Drill, baby, drill? What the??) For the past few days, we've been inundated with Palin. Now it's time for the Dems to come back and hit hard. Obama shouldn't hold back. He has got to respond to Giuliani's mean spirited attacks, and really play into his strengths. He has got to nail it to McCain voters--McCain's time has come and gone. He is nothing short of washed up and really and truly has no new policy agenda except the same, old crap.

Raspberry Magic Update

2008-09-03T09:42:00.001-07:00

Okay, so my producing partner and I have spent the past two years working really hard to raise money for our indie feature. Between the two us of, we have a pretty great roster of contacts. We've pitched to some angel investors, a number of high net worth individuals, and even a few production companies. It's a tough, tough game, especially for a first time director/producer team. What I hate most the anticipation of talking to someone, then all of the waiting. And then of course, the rejection is always a bit tough, too. Despite all of the "no's", we've gotten quite a few "yes's," and while we still have a few more checks to go, we have done what we needed to do a long time ago: set a steadfast date.

We are shooting this movie Dec. 1, and that's just it. It sounds crazy, but with a clear date, so many things have come together, I can't even explain fully how much lighter I'm feeling. We are shooting the film in the Bay area, specifically, in the Montclair region on Oakland. There's an awesome forest, school and even a few great homes there. We also have a lot of help in terms of crew up there. Now, we are working on putting the deals together. Our budget is small, so every single dollar counts. But this is what filmmaking is all about, and it feels really good to be moving forward... Stay tuned.

Introduction to Film Production

2008-08-27T09:51:00.001-07:00

I have been teaching "Intro to Film Production" at LMU for a few years now, and I've mostly done it for undergrads. This semester, it's grads, which should be really fun. The goal of the class is to make three films while learning filmmaking basics such as editing, shooting, lighting, etc. We watch a lot of shorts and discuss story structure, etc. My emphasis in the class is really for students to push the envelope conceptually--come up with visuals and ideas that are fresh, which is no easy task, but of course, if you want to be a filmmaker, that's sort of the point. In lieu of this, I have a rule in my class--no "alarm clock" / "being late to class" films, only because the first two semesters I taught this class, there were too many of these types of films. Different iterations, of course, like, girl spends too much time putting on makeup, and is late for class, guy jumps out of bed and gets to class, and no one is there, girl runs and runs and can't find class... You get the idea. My students are always a little surprised by my rule, but what I tell them is that making films in the beginning isn't about technical things, etc, it's really about one thing and one thing only--imagination and ideas. You can shoot your film on the most jank camera, but if you've got an idea/concept that's interesting, you will somehow touch people. There is evidence of this everywhere, I love it when small movies that were shot for nothing do really well, beating out large scale Hollywood films. Or, even when some little Net video goes viral, and catches on. In order to avoid first-time filmmaker cliches, I have them read this great website: http://www.filmmaker.com/dumps

Seeing Light

2008-08-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a really hectic and overwhelming summer, I've been working my ass off, and while at times I feel like it's not enough, it was good to take a few days off this weekend and get some much needed perspective on things. I've been hustling on Raspberry Magic, trying to get a few more investors on board, which is certainly never an easy process. We're almost there, but we really do need a few more people to make things work or basically just do them right. It's a lot of waiting, but we're pretty damn determined. Aside from that, I have a couple of other scripts I am working on, one of which was accepted through to the first round of the Sundance competition. It's a piece I'm super excited about, and would love to make after Raspberry. I also got hired to make a short film by a foundation, which is sort of an exciting gig while waiting on the feature.

But as of September 1, my producing partner and I have decided that it's time to make Raspberry Magic happen. We're basically going to plan the shoot to start on Dec 1, and finish casting, pull together location specifics, and just generally make everything happen. It all sounds slightly insane, but everyone we've talked to has said to just proceed, make it real and it will become real. And Megha and I have usually found that when we do this, things happen. For example, we went on a locations scouting trip up to the Bay, and just made shit happen. As a result, a newspaper did a story on us, and we really did figure out exactly where to shoot. This the mentality we're using to make the film and truly move ahead. So, stayed tuned this fall as I put away the writing for a few months and get into production mode and actually make something. It's a little daunting, but exciting, too!!

Seven Things About Me

2008-08-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Writer Dad, Screenwriting Manifesto and UNK, a few of my favorite writer blogs at present, I'm doing the whole, "Six/Seven Things About Me" Exercise, so here it goes:

1. I am a compulsive walker. After a long day of writing, I like nothing more than taking a long, long walk. Sometimes, on a Saturday morning, I’ll put on my tennis shoes and walk for three to four hours. I can walk anywhere—in the city, in the country, by the beach, by the desert. I love city hikes and just getting lost in a neighborhood I’ve never been to, or I love stumbling upon a beautiful beach cove I didn’t know about. I find walking to be more meditative than yoga, more relaxing than a massage and more adventurous than sky diving (okay, maybe not).

2. I look really young. I am in my early 30’s, but people often mistake me for being 20. I even got carded for buying a red bull once!! The lady at the check out stand was like, you’re way too young to be buying that, I need to see some ID! Geez. It used to bother me a lot, because people would ask me with such contempt, like, “how old are you, anyway?” I mean, this happens in professional settings at times, especially as a professor. Sometimes, students will look at me and ask, “you’re the professor?” But then, once I start talking, they know the answer to that one!

3. My friends call me 90 pounds of fury. When I have an opinion about something, I sort of let it out. I never realized this about myself, until a friend of mine was like, “you’re such an intense person.” I think it’s not only that I’m pretty expressive, it’s also that I tend to be pretty hard core about the things I take on. Like when I say I’m making Raspberry Magic, I really mean it!! It’s hard for me to in between, like do something and not care about it. I’ve also been known to get pretty rowdy and wild after a drink or two, and have gotten kicked out of my share of bars!

4. I hated Indian food when I was growing up. Seriously, my mother made Indian food everyday when I was growing up—roti, daal, a different vegetable. I don’t think I ever ate daal once when I was growing up, but now I could eat it everyday. I especially love any kind of beans like black lentils, etc. I’m not the best and most proficient cook on the planet, but this summer has been all about experimenting with the pressure cooker and learning how to make all those great beans I love so much. The whole Indian woman being able to cook well is such a cliché, and I feel totally insecure that I can’t rock it. But, I’ll get there...

5. I never dated in high school and I didn’t go to the prom. I was socially awkward in high school, for sure, and dating only seemed like something all the blond cheerleader girls did. My senior year, I made out a little, and I went to one dance, but that was it. But of course, I met my husband my freshman year of college, and we dated for almost ten years before we got married!

6. For all of my fury, I can be pretty introverted. Socializing feels overwhelming to me. My husband used to be a total social butterfly when we lived in SF, and I always found myself freaking out. He finds it really odd that I can work alone in our house for hours and hours, without talking to anyone, but I like it. It would be hard for me to work any other way.

7. I won a writing contest at the age of sixteen that changed my life. Growing up, I was compulsive reader, to the point where I often didn’t do my work or even listen to my teachers in school. Instead, I would read. Not War and Peace all the time either, but a lot of trashy romance novels and my share of VC Andrews novels. Anyway, I was a good student, but never a stellar one like my sister (now a doctor) and all of the other Indian kids I knew. Anyway, I believe all of that reading eventually helped me, because a high school teacher of mine asked to be on the newspaper staff my sophomore year. Until then, I was all about drama club, but writing, hell yeah! I had been writing all my life, like journals, poems, short stories and more, but being the on the newspaper staff helped me see my work in print. This same teacher encouraged me to enter an essay contest sponsored by Parade Magazine, which I ended up winning. The topic was something patriotic about the real America and JFK's dream. For the first time in my life, I realized that I could be good at something. Until this point, my sister was the super star of the family with her straight A's and gymnastics. It took me many years after this to dedicate and really decide that I wanted to go down the path of a pro writer, but this contest opened up the door for me to write for my college papers, then later freelance for news publications and much more. Writing was something I always did and will do, but I believe this contest helped push me forward in a new way. It was a defining moment!

I tag--anyone who reads this and hasn't done it already. It's kinda fun!!

Why Create?

2008-08-15T11:54:00.000-07:00

Someone once asked me, what's the purpose of being a filmmaker, a writer or a creative person if it's so damn hard? Why not just get a normal job like everyone else? Or, this same person, when I mentioned how tough this process was, said something to the effect of, well, you chose this path. This may sound absurd to some people, but that's not really true. As a creative person, I truly believe that the desire for the need to create chose me. In other words, it came from something deeper within. Every single one of us has this instinct inside of us when we are young, but as we grow older, society tells us to put that desire, that need away. Some people listen, some people don't. For those of us who choose this creative path, it is more than simply a career choice, it is a deeper calling, one that beckons us to finds a means of expression. My theory in life that there people are driven two things: money or the need to be heard. Not that the two things are mutually exclusive, but some of us just want our ideas and thoughts to be heard more than anything else. It's what drives us, it's what makes us get up in the morning. For me, I have so many story ideas that I could sit here and write for fifty hours straight, and still I would not be able to get enough done. It's like, the stories, the ideas and the need to put them on paper are a compulsion, almost like need for food. Someone once asked me, how do you have the time to write? Well, to me that question is sort of like, how do you have time to breath? I don't know, it's just something I do. Even if I wasn't so worried these days about where everything is going and how it's all going to turn out, I am sure I would still keep writing no matter what. Sometimes, all of the rejection, stress and no's from people in the world put me in a total funk. But at the end of the day, when I sit down to create something, that's really the best feeling of all...

New Web Site

2008-08-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

I've been pondering it for some time, but a mentor of mine put the fire under my ass to re-design my personal site. I've got some exciting meetings coming up, and she as well as several people suggested that I put together more of a portfolio site outlining my work. Not as design/graphics oriented as the old site, but lots of information. Check it out: http://www.leenapendharkar.com

Going In Circles

2008-08-01T10:55:00.000-07:00

For the past eight months or so, I've been working on a new script. The piece started as one thing, and I literally went in big, huge circles writing and rewriting it. My thought process on what it was going to be/how it would read was totally jumbled, and a couple of people who read it were like, what the hell is this? After my last draft in May, I was truly ready to kill myself with this piece. For me, when I've been writing something for so long, I get attached, and I hate, hate, hate burying it and just saying this isn't working. It makes me feel like the world is ending. Literally. After all, I went in circles on Raspberry Magic for over four years. Anyway, my husband read the draft of my new work back in May and was like, you really need to put this thing away. But I refused. We had a Saturday afternoon where I was pretty depressed, and basically felt like I was the biggest idiot/worst writer on the planet. Anyway, out of all that misery came a huge light bulb moment in terms of the film's overall concept. My husband talked it out with me, and really helped me clarify my thought process. Suddenly, I realized why I was going in circles. I was writing the story from the wrong character's point of view. It was impossible to tale tell the tale this way. Over the past eight weeks or so, I've been re-writing this piece with the new (and clarified) concept. This eight week process has been kind of grueling because there are several plot points which have been very tough to hash out. One thing in particular, was driving me crazy. But finally, finally after a few really long and hard weeks, the ideas are all on the page, and it makes sense. The script is no where close to being done, but damn, the ideas are finally on the page... Now come the long, hard hours of revisions, polishes and more rewriting... Damn, I love this shit!

Simple Pleasures

2008-07-30T21:31:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling slightly blah about the film because while we have raised a chunk of financing, we still have more to go. We have lots of leads, but it's slow in terms of things biting. I know the tide will turn, but sometimes, you truly feel like you are hitting your head against the wall, which sucks, of course. Today, I was having one of those "life sucks" moments, basically because I was feeling like nothing would ever move forward... And then, a very small moment brightened my day... Daal. Yes, seems a little silly, but I've made daal several different ways over the years and it never seems to taste, quite right. But this summer, I've discovered a nifty tool called a pressure cooker. My mom's been telling me to use it for years, but I never did until this past summer when my friend's mother showed me how to use it. And guess what? I made daal with it today and it came out to be heavenly. The perfect texture and taste, truly making me feel like anything is possible. Small moments, indeed...

On a completely different note, The East Bay Express did a story about Indian films being made in the East Bay, and there's a small bit about us in it. Here's the story:
Namastey East Bay

From Script to Screen

2008-07-21T12:28:00.000-07:00

Last week, Megha and I spent four very long and intense days scouting locations in Marin, Oakland and then Humboldt County. Raspberry Magic takes place in Oregon, but on our low budget, it would be tough to actually shoot it in Oregon. So, we've been pondering corners of the Bay area which would work well for the story, and have decided on several places that we really like. Having spent years (and years) writing this screenplay and developing the sense of place in it, it's so interesting to take something that's in your head, like a magical forest, then make it real. For example, we checked out several Redwood forests, and then when we went up to Humboldt, there was also an amazing Sequoia forest. The challenge in all of this is finding locations that I pictured, but also keeping it practical so the shoot is as tight as possible. In that vein, I truly like the magic of the Humboldt County forest/trees, but then if we're just staging a small corridor to feel magical, do we really need to move the entire cast/crew up to Humboldt? We're lucky on this film because there really aren't many locations, so if we can find them all in one small area (which I believe we did), then we'll save lots of money, and can really concentrate/focus on getting excellent performances, which is most important to me, along with the overall visual look/feel. We feel pretty lucky because there is an amazing spirit around indie film in the Bay area that will really and truly help us as we hire cast and crew, and just generally make the film happen!

Fortuna, CA

2008-07-18T18:00:00.001-07:00

What the hell is an "Oriental Buffet," and what are these 120 items they speak of???

What I've Been Up To

2008-07-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already mid-summer, time seems to be going so fast these days. Usually in the summer, I teach a class or two and have various projects I've working on in terms of freelance work, whether it's writing or in the video/multimedia realm. But this summer, I decided to take a break from those things and instead focus on writing and making this film happen. Time seems to be going so fast, but here is what I've been up to:

Writing: I'm always writing new material and have like the next five scripts I want to put together in mind. But currently, I've got a political piece I've been obsessed with. I think it's a great concept with a lot of potential, but I'm stuck on certain things, and have been spending long hours on re-writing certain sections. Ughh, if only my mental process would align and the fog of questions would clear. I think it will after this nice little 4th of July holiday I've just had.

Filmmaking: I have a singular, all-consuming goal right now, which is to make Raspberry Magic before the year is out. Here is where we are at:

Financing: We have raised a pretty nice chunk of our financing, but we have a little more to go. We have been meeting with people and hustling pretty hard to make it all come together, but raising money is no easy process. We're getting there, slowly but surely.

Locations: Next week, we're going on a locations scouting trip all week. We're checking out the Bay area and Humbolt and doing a cost-benefit analysis on where it's going to be better to shoot. I'm especially excited about Marin, the scout up there really seems to know what she is doing.

Casting: We have some interesting attachments set up for the adult cast, but the kids are the tricky part. We've been reading some fantastic young girls lately, and are hoping to pin the right one down before the summer is out. Casting kids is a very interesting process, but I'll talk more about that soon enough. We've def. been meeting some very, cute kids, though!

The Raspberries are Growing!

2008-06-25T23:06:00.000-07:00

As some of you may/may not know, I planted a couple of raspberry bushes in my backyard last summer, as sort of an experiment. As a writer, I often find it extremely helpful to put myself in the same scenarios as my characters, and as some of you might know, the protagonist in Raspberry Magic is attempting to grow raspberry bushes by nurturing them. Anyway, the dry, hot climate of Southern California isn't exactly ideal for raspberries, but I thought I would try it out, anyway. To be honest, I didn't do much to take care of them. I mean, I watered them here and there, and trimmed them a couple of times, but not much else. A couple of months ago, some of the leaves on the bushes were looking pretty sad and worn out, so I had basically given up on the bushes. But with spring I noticed one stem looking a bit better, more alive. Then lo and behold, a couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out in my backyard, and I noticed--

Raspberries!

Yes, they were ripe, red and shiny in the summer sunlight. I truly couldn't believe it. It's a sign... Time to make the movie!!

Casting Call for Young South Asian Girls

2008-06-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

So... The wheels are certainly turning on our movie, which as always, is nerve racking and exciting. We are going up to NorCal to do a scout trip in a couple of weeks, and we've also been looking at some young South Asian girls to play the roles of Monica and Gina. Monica is 11, and somewhat of a shy, reserved young girl. She's wise beyond her years, and expresses herself through her actions and emotions most of the time, rather than her words. This is a tough role for a child actor, but there is plenty of talent out there, I know. The other main character, Gina, is 8. She's sort of spunky and funky, a little more wild and outgoing than Monica. We've been reading some young girls, but if you know of anyone we should look at, let me know or send me a head shot! Auditioning kids isn't easy, but we do a combo of some imaginary/improv. scenes, then a bit of actual scene reading. I'm not necc. looking for show biz kids (but parents who are okay with the show biz thing are a must), though we've read a couple. Most important are kids with a wild imagination and who make interesting choices in the given scenarios. That's really the crux of acting, isn't it?

Inspiring Evening

2008-06-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Through the process of making this movie, my producer Megha and I have had the opportunity to meet and see so many interesting, inspiring and sometimes even unusual people. Last night, we were invited to a dinner where heavy weight producer Ashok Amitraj spoke. He's quite an accomplished producer, made many films that have done well. It was really inspiring to hear him talk about his start in the film business, because he basically said that even though he was a well-known tennis player, he knocked on doors for five years until he had a few development deals with the studios. But even with the deals, he worked super hard to get scripts written and put ideas in front of the studios and still nothing after so many years. Finally, after doing this, he basically said fuck it, and raised $500K through private equity investors and made a freaking movie. That movie, even though it was small, opened doors for more movies. He talked so much about knocking down doors, getting them slammed in your face and keeping on. This is exactly what Megha and I have been doing over the past few years to get Raspberry Magic made. We've talked to so many people about investing, basically leaving no stone unturned on every, single level. It is hard, grueling work, not for those who give up easily or who are easily discouraged. I've def. had many moments of being down, wondering how in the world can we do this. But my belief in this movie, partnership with Megha and the support of so many people really keeps me going. It was nice to hear Mr. Amitraj say that he's been down the same road.

Locations, Planning the Shoot

2008-06-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

So, we've been slowly but surely moving along with the movie. It's been nice, because we've had a few investors sign on this month, and a few more are coming. We're still not there yet, but getting closer and still on track to shoot this fall. Some advice another filmmaker friend of mine gave me is to set the date, then just proceed as if it's happening. I think there is a lot of truth to that, because when you just say you're doing it, things really do come together. So, Megha and I have been moving forward, and one of our very big tasks right now is to figure out where exactly we are shooting this film. We've been really big on Humboldt, and we are planning a scout trip up there in July. But, sometimes we also think the Bay area might work well. This is because we have a lot of help in the Bay, meaning lots of friends and family who can come on the set with whatever we need, plus I know a lot of crew people up there who would help out. In Humboldt, we have some great potential for locations, a hotel that we can use for very low cost, but the tricky part is bringing crew and gear up there without burning through our money. So, we're basically going to just head up there and figure this all out. I'm excited because now we're getting into really doing the nitty gritty stuff, but the uncertainty of raising all of the money is always looming. I feel like shooting the movie will be a great challenge, something I'm really looking forward to. It's a very different kind of challenge than raising money.

Summer Movies

2008-06-14T14:14:00.001-07:00

I've seen a good number of films this summer (so far), and here are some thoughts about them:

The Visitor: Incredible follow up from Thomas McCarthy to his debut film, The Station Agent. The Visitor is truly a beautiful film, sort of the crux of what I consider to be a good story told in a visual medium. And it's just a great work of art, really makes you think. I won't give too much away, but brilliant performances from all of the actors, great overall themes about lost and lonely souls finding connection with one another. Also, really poignant and complex insights about the immigration debacle. Loved it, hope it opens up in theaters everywhere.

Son of Rambo: Written and directed by Garth Jenkins who did Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Really hilarious film, great special effects, and surprisingly, a real tear jerker, ending. Also, I love the sweet 80's sound track, def. reminds me of growing up. Great job in exploring the complex lives of kids in a universal way.

Iron Man: I enjoyed this film, it was a great look at how Iron Man becomes who he does, and I thought that Robert Downey's performance was excellent. It was also nice to see Gwyneth Paltrow back on the big screen. I felt like some of the action sequences dragged, but overall very good. One of my favorite super hero films of all time is Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. This one didn't quite live up to that, but still very enjoyable.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: I couldn't resist seeing this one, after all, I grew up like any other American kid of 80's, watching all of these films. I found the plot in this movie to be lacking the complexity and intrigue from the past versions, and I also felt that much of the action dragged and wasn't motivated by larger/deeper goals and questions. I thought Cate B. (always a stunner) stole the show, but overall, felt a little bored by this movie. Come on David Koepp, for all the millions you got paid to write this thing, you couldn't have given us a couple more plot twists?

Sex in the City: Yes, I was on a girl's weekend far away in the woods of Russian River, and we couldn't resist checking this movie out. I loved the show back in the day, mostly because the humor was great! But this movie was pure cheese. Implausible plots, scant character development and way too much shameless promotion for designers that most women could care less about. They were even missing the witty, biting humor of the TV show. As my friend said afterwards, we all felt pretty gross from even watching it. But hey, at least it was with friends!!

Writer's/Programmer's Block

2008-06-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that writer's block manifests itself in many different ways, sometimes even in the way of just not getting started. But for me, writer's block is usually what I call a logic problem, meaning that in a story, you're trying to get from point A to point B in a logical, creative and interesting way, but can't figure out what that way is. You think and think, make lists and brainstorm ideas, but nothing comes. To me, writing is a lot like those "logic games" you have to take on the GRE. The kind where you have four friends, four foods and four boyfriends and you're given a set of clues to piece everything together. Never really my forte, but all of this writing I do has certainly pushed my skills in thinking this way. The interesting thing is, my husband is a flash developer, meaning he programs and does design work, but we often have long talks about how writing and programming are so similar. There are differences of course, but there is a certain kind of thinking that pervades these realms, this kind of "symbolic logic" if you will. And just like writers, programmers get blocked, too. Sometimes, my husband is stuck on a problem for days, like how do you build a particular system and make everything work the way you want it to? I go through the same, exact thing, and honestly, when I'm blocked or having a logic flow issue, he is a really good person to discuss my train of thought with. But it's hard for me to help in the opposite way because I don't know the language of Flash. My husband has had bad insomnia over the past few days because he is stuck on a logic problem that is really tough. He even stayed home one day to sit in quiet and work through this issue. I'm sure it'll come as it usually does suddenly when you're cooking dinner or gardening, but the process of getting there can be kind of rough.

Writing is a Process

2008-06-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a new screenplay, one which I think has serious commercial potential over the past few months. I started going down one road, then five months into it, I went down a completely different road. That frustrates me to no end, and there was a moment when I thought that maybe I should just forget about the whole thing. But the problem is, this new path was incredibly compelling and everyone I pitched it to was much more excited by it with the new twist rather than the old. Grrr. So, I took a break for a couple of weeks because I was feeling extremely burnt out with everything, then came back to it with a fresh eye. It is getting there, and I blazed through revisions of the middle sixty pages last week, but now goes the hard part which is the ironing out of the ideas and really polishing them. I drive myself a little crazy with my writing process, meaning, that I often find the story as I'm moving along, so the direction changes. This somewhat of a pain, but I found that this is the method that works for me. I used to try to outline and write histories, and blah blah, but now, instead, I sort of come up with a few plot points, and I typically know the beginning and end, then I start writing. Then I'll come up with histories as I go along. What a process, but I feel myself improving and growing with every new screenplay. Now I need to get back to this draft and really make it pop!

A New Wave of Films

2008-06-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

It's definitely an interesting time to be an indie filmmaker as technology and other aspects of making movies become less expensive and more accessible to people. In recent years, we've seen a proliferation of indie films, which makes the market/field that much more competitive, but at the same time, it means that story is king. What's really interesting is that right now, there are a host of Indian American filmmakers like myself making movies in this low budget range. There are so many that have been made in the past years, it's becoming a whole new genre in some ways. I think we're seeing this because as first generation immigrant children like myself grow up, they want to share their perspective and point of view. I'm def. supportive of all these films, and I'm pretty good friends with some of my fellow filmmakers. It's fascinating how all of these new voices are getting out there, I often wonder how all of it will play out in the next ten years. In the mean time, here are some of the movies coming out or in the works:

Kissing Cousins, A romantic comedy by Amyn Kaderali
I know these guys, meaning the director and producers really well. Romantic comedies can sometimes be a tough sell on the indie scene, but this film is picking up steam as it travels the festival circuit.

Karma Calling, A comedy by Sarba Das
I haven't seen this one yet, but I know Sarba's been working really hard on it. It looks funny and poignant, can't wait to check it out.

Ocean of Pearls A drama by Sarab Singh Neelam
A drama about tradition, framed within the context of being Sikh. Looks like a really incredible drama, I missed it when it was here a few weeks ago, but hopefully it'll come around again soon.

Patang, A drama by Prashant Bhargava
Looks like a visual stunner with the gorgeous photography. Haven't seen it yet either, but can't wait to check it out.

The Power of Fun

2008-05-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

I think that sometimes in life when you're dragging and things don't seem to be going anywhere, you just need to bust out and have a little fun. I've been so down on myself for not getting this new script into shape the way I want, I think I've really been internalizing my feelings in bad ways that we as creatives sometimes do. It's like, why can't I get this thing to be the way I want, what is wrong with me? Well, sometimes getting into that frame of mind is a downward spiral because it creates unneeded negative energy which further pushes us into the spiral. Anyway, so this past weekend, I went away with a couple of friends to Lightning in a Bottle, a music festival in Santa Barbara. It was cold and rainy, but I camped out there with a few really fun friends. We laughed a lot, listened to amazing music, and just kind of chilled out for three days. The music was so incredible, The Glitch Mob, Ana Sia, other low level bass shit, it was great to just get my dance on. For some reason, after those couple of days, I feel a whole new sense of energy. I feel positive, and I had a really good breakthrough with the writing issue I was struggling with. Usually, when I'm blocked with something, I make tons of notes, list, bios and other things to help me, but I think that sometimes, taking a very short breather is the best medicine... Or just getting some low level dance on!

Summer is Upon Us!

2008-05-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted to this blog... I don't know, I guess I've been feeling a little down for the past couple of weeks. January through the end of April was such a time of crazy hustle. Between teaching and putting the film together, I was running around like a crazy person. Now, it's suddenly summer, and the goal of making this movie happen is just around the corner, which means so many things, but mostly, it's about all of the financing coming together. If everything goes as planned, then we'll be okay. But in order for us to get there, there is so much that has to happen... This is the point in the process where you have to have faith, and pray that all of the ideas, energies and thoughts that you've puts out into the world will actually yield something. I mean, I've been busting my ass, now all I can do is keep following up and make it happen... It's weird because I've put so much of myself into this process, it's like, summer suddenly came, and I was like, now what? Usually, I line up teaching, freelance projects, etc for the summer, but this summer, I've been so about the film, I haven't lined much of anything up. But I think it's a good thing--I'm totally focused on making it happen, which means it will happen. I'm also re-writing a script of mine to really make it work. I've spent the past eight months on this piece, and I basically realized that the piece needs a more fresh POV. It's so much work, and I'm truly going a little crazy with the process, but I believe that this new POV/direction will help. I think I've been feeling a bit of that heavy weight like, man, I've put so much energy and effort out, will it actually go some place? I know it will, and I try to stay positive, but this career path is so hard for this reason--just because you put out ideas, it doesn't mean they're going anywhere. But besides the financing, I am also working on looking for production designers, cast and all of the pieces of the puzzle required to make a movie happen. It's all tricky, but I know it has to come together after all of this...

A Moment of Thanks!

2008-05-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Over the past two years, Megha and I have been hustling our butts off to make Raspberry Magic happen. It's not an easy process or a sane one as I've said here many times, but the thing that makes it good are all of the people who've been so supportive and so helpful. It's tough to knock on doors and get lots of no's, but honestly, for every no we've gotten, we've had tons of yes's. There have been so many people who've said, I know people who know people, or I will read the business plan and see what I can do. So, for all of the positive people out there who have touched us in some small or big way, I just want to say thank you, it's def. people like you who keep us going on a daily basis!!!

Crazy Time

2008-05-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

The past few months have been an insane roll coaster ride--we've had some big leads on the financing front, then lots of waiting. I can't believe it's almost summer, and I am done with teaching for the spring. Now, it's crazy time, meaning we are set on shooting the movie this fall, so it means that we have to pull a number of things together. Our biggest task right now is to cast the young girls and finish raising all of our money. I have a feeling we'll be raising the money until the very last moment, but casting is a very big job, especially in terms of the little girls. I'm excited about shooting in Humboldt County, as well, and hope to spend a bit of time up there this summer to scout the locations. The other big question is shooting format. We've been exploring shooting on the new RED cameras, and my DP is thinking about purchasing one. But, a few people have told it's dicey in post, so we're weighing all of the options. Red sounds incredible, and many more people are using it now, we just wouldn't use the 4000K setting. So, I guess starting now it's officially hustle time!! Time to really pull all of the pieces together and make this film happen.

Incompetent Hipsters: Lovecraft is a Mess!!

2008-04-18T08:37:00.001-07:00

We bought a veggie oil car from Lovecraft BioFuels a couple of years back when it was still a novel idea. It was a cool experiment, but ultimately, the car we got was a lemon. The crazy thing is, we first got hip to the idea through a friend of a friend, and then oddly enough, my mentor from Project Involve, Michael Lehmann, also had a couple of the cars. We picked out our green beauty, then they said it was take a month for the repairs to be complete. So, we paid our deposit and waited. And waited. Finally, after six months, we got the car. But the whole time, it seemed like LoveCraft was attempting to pull one over on us. They were rude, completely disorganized and had this really annoying "cooler than thou" attitude. It was like all hipster with very, very little business savvy. The people who worked there kept making all of these excuses for the elusive "Brian," too. I was ready to pull out and call it quits, but my sweet husband was so invested in this green beauty that he couldn't let it go. Anyway, once we finally got the car, it issues, like the transmission and a few other things. It was okay, I mean, the car still drives, but we ultimately got tired of having an unreliable vehicle. We've still got the car (mostly bc my husband won't let go of it), but we're ready to sell it. I'm sure the right person could do something with it, but us not knowing much about cars makes it tough. Anyway, today, there is an article in the LA Times that says, "Cutting-edge Silver Lake biofuel company is embroiled in a legal battle." It's all about how fucked up Brian and his business practices were. What a bunch drama!

Facebook

2008-04-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

I was extremely resistant to getting on Facebook for the longest time. My producer was urging me to get on, but still, I was kind of skeptical, because I've been on Tribe, MySpace and Friendster, and ultimately, I found social networking to be a big waste of time. Anyway, sites like MySpace are so fucking ghetto, who wants to set up a profile there, right? But I finally bit the bullet and got onto Facebook a couple of months ago, and I have to say, a very interesting thing happened. But first, some back story. I grew up in Raleigh, NC. Now days, Raleigh is a very diverse place with so many different types of people/things going on, it's awesome. But back when I was growing up there, it just wasn't that diverse. I always felt like a fish out of water amongst the white, southern kids in my school. I was this funky weird chick wearing a mix of Indian clothing, starting an environmental club at my school and reading Ayn Rand. I really didn't care about things like prom, dating and the usual high school pursuits. I think everyone feels awkwardness to some degree in high school, but those years kind of traumatized me. I got picked on my some pretty mean people, and I started hanging out with a crowd of people who were kind of rough--I started drinking, doing drugs, etc. at a young age. Then, I got busted by my parents and my life became even more hellacious. To make matters worse, I wasn't a steallar student like the rest of my Indian compatriots. Sure, I was still getting A's and B's and an occasional C in math, but my sister and every other Indian kid we knew pretty much made straight A's. My parents basically thought I was a major under achiever with serious issues, so they made my junior year of high school a living hell--constant lectures, no going anywhere, and studying for the SAT every night for 2-3 hours (I did very poorly on the SATS). The only thing that saved me was my writing. My junior year of high school, a teacher of mine encouraged me to join newspaper staff, and I thrived. It was the first time I did something right, and she gave me a chance to write a column for a local newspaper. Then, my senior year, I won an Parade Magazine essay contest, so I was vindicated by my folks. Needless to say, my high school years were hard. I have one really close friend from high school, but she became a pretty conservative Christian and we went down very different paths. Anyway, back to FaceBook. After high school, I went to college at UNC, then immediately moved away from NC. I haven't lived there in 12 years or so, mostly because I want to forget those very difficult years. But recently, a few people from high school reached out to me on Facebook. A couple people I was friends with, then a couple people who were sort of "popular" and I knew only marginally. At first, I was pretty weirded out when I got their requests. There's something uncomfortable about re-connecting with a past you so want to forget. But I went ahead and added, and was surprised when a couple of people even wrote some really nice notes on my wall. Then, I started getting a few more requests from people I grew up with, and a funny thing has happened. My re-connecting with all of these folks, seeing that they're adults now with kids, jobs, etc. makes me realize that everyone was probably going through the same thing I was, I mean that awkwardness of of adolescence. My memories of certain people from those days feel like they were characters in a movie. But seeing them on FaceBook makes them more real, more human. It's definately strange, but interesting at the same time.

A Very Short Story

2008-04-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

This a funny little short piece I wrote recently. I don't think anyone else thinks it's funny except for me, but hey, sometimes we have to humor ourselves, right? I submitted it to a couple of flash fiction publications, but they all said no. One editor told me he thought it was just plain weird. Anyway, here it is:

French Fries Cause Greenhouse Gases
Last Tuesday morning on the way to Stockton, I had an urge for the perfect mix of potato and salt and oil and ketchup in a bottomless pit of red and yellow cardboard. Supersized. I let up on the gas and gave my right signal as the desert sun set, ready to take exit one fifty six. But then I crept past it, without ever even moving into the far lane. Instead, I waited for an exit number that was divisible by seven. Seven times twenty equals one forty: gone. Seven times seventy-seven equals one eighty-nine: safe. Also, enough time to consider the facts: The fries contain beef seasoning. Beef seasoning comes from cows. Cows cause greenhouse gases. Greenhouse gases contribute to global warming. I am perpetuating world misery and denigration. But are salt-and-potatoes-and-beef seasoning really detrimental? I wiped my sweaty palms on my lap, drifting into the center of the road. Suddenly, I heard a loud and sustained horn “BLEEEEEEEEET.” I immediately swerved to the left. I glanced out my window as a truck driver with wild curly hair pressed his middle finger against the glass. My hands shook as I took exit 167 for a reputable sandwich joint.

It Takes a Mountain

2008-04-01T08:55:00.001-07:00

Getting a feature film made is like moving a mountain. It takes a huge amount of resources, and a fierce determination that isn't always easy to sustain. I've been working my butt off, trying to convince people to help us make this movie, invest $20K in a piece of art that will live forever. We've gotten some investors on board, and there is definitely a movie in the works. But we still need more investors, and though we have a number of people who have said yes, we need the rest of the checks. It is not easy to raise money and on the days when I feel blue about our progress and how things are going, I try to remember that a year ago, we didn't even have a bank account. But there are days when I sometimes feel like this is so tough, that it simply may not happen. Deep down inside, I am so determined and I know that it will, but still, it is still very hard to put yourself out there sometimes. The thing that ultimately keeps me going is the vision of the film, this idea of a young girl trying to find herself amongst the complicated world of adults, a young girls who finds solace in the forest. Every character that I create is in some ways, an iteration of myself, and while I wasn't a science nerd when I was growing up, I was a book nerd. I spent hours and hours in my room reading, sometimes a book a week. Sometimes is was the Sweet Valley High series, other times it was the The Fountainhead and other literary works. The world of my parents was also confusing, because my parents fought constantly about things that made to sense to my sister and I. My parents put every ounce of their energy into us, but their fighting was so confusing that my sister and now as adults sometimes spend hours trying to dissect exactly what was going on there. I think that my parents were so consumed in their fighting, my sister and I both had to find ways of coping. My sister is more introverted than I am, but her studying was a means of dealing--she is now a doctor, and has no problem with the long hours of shutting herself up with the books. I was the less studious one, but I always loved to read and write, and now as an adult, I find sitting in closed rooms for long hours very comforting. Isn't it interesting how our past effects us? How we use it to create the present? Raspberry Magic is an iteration of myself in so many different ways, I have to make it.

Splitting the Difference in Creating Characters

2008-03-28T09:24:00.000-07:00

I think that creating characters with a unique, engaging voice and point of view on the world is the essence of great writing. I've seen some writers with an affinity for plot, who don't have anything to say through their characters, and the stories feel flat. It's sort of like making films--just because a person is technically proficient, it doesn't mean that they have something amazing to say. Teaching film students, I find that the students who take risks conceptually are the ones whose ideas really strike a chord. This is true, I believe, of the professionals, too. So, I've always asked myself, how do I push my characters to the extreme limit, making them as engaging as possible? See, in the beginning, when I was learning to write, I think that sometimes my characters were way over the top and my plots were an absolute mess. A few managers said that I had an interesting voice, and that they would read more of my work, but the plots were simply confusing. Fast forward to a few years later, I've really been studying the craft of plotting and working very hard to understand story flow and logic. But now, I think what's happened is that I've lost some of that voice that used to be in my early scripts. A teacher of mine read one of my recent scripts said, it's all plot, what happened to those amazing characters of yours? If this had been a few years ago, I would have been pretty depressed (he also said it was the worst thing I had ever written, but that's a different story), but I took a couple weeks off and really pondered this question of character. I've been racking my brains a bit, trying to really think about this question of character--what is the essence of a character, and how do I, as a writer really make that shine. Sure, I do a character bio, I spent time figuring out motivation and all of those things. Finally, after some days of thinking about it, and developing some character charts that break down things like inner and outer needs, I sat down to write and I realized something. Creating characters for me is about instinct. I had a teacher of mine who would always say that writing with all instinct is extremely dangerous because when you're stuck, you don't know how to fix things. I get that, but for me, I realize that I have to get to a place where I am thinking through the logic of the plot, and the character's relationship to plot, but then when it come to creating the essence of the characters, I have to use my instinct and deeper understanding of who I think people are and how they work. I've gone back and revised this script, and I realize that I've found the voice of the main character through this process. Sure, I'll go back and revise, revise and revise, but I think this method of creating characters through my own experience is something that works for me.

Film Finance + Revisions

2008-03-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

The film, Raspberry Magic, is coming along, slowly but surely... I never really mention details, because yes, I am superstitious about saying too much. We have shooting place, a date and yes, even much of the key cast in place... But I'll let you know once it's all real...

One another tip, I've got a new script which I'm presently revising. I realize in my writing that often I like to cover big concepts like in "V for Vendetta" for example, this idea of freedom--it's tricky because while the characters are compelling, many of the abstract ideas are represented by visuals. Same with "All the President's Men"--a great film, but many of the ideas are abstract concepts, expressed through letters or talking. These kinds of films are not so easy to write, and certainly not always the most commercially viable. And honestly, I don't think that many people get them. But, I have a momentum in my writing that is pushing me to extremes--I must write. It is all that I think about morning, noon and night. It's kind of overpowering, and at this moment, I don't know what it means except that I am getting work done. But I hope that in the scheme of things in means that I am pushing myself toward excellence. Right now, I am good, but in order to make something happen in this business, you have to be excellent in a way that's above and beyond. I want that.

Eve Marie Carson

2008-03-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was very saddened by the violent shooting and death of UNC-Chapel Hill's student body president, Eve Marie Carson. Acts of random violence happen every single day in every country, in every town, but her death touched me on a very personal level. Perhaps because I went to UNC-Chapel Hill for my undergraduate education, or perhaps because my sister is still there, in medical school. Or, perhaps because I've always thought of Chapel Hill as the perfect, idyllic place, a place that's far away from Los Angeles and San Francisco, a place that's peaceful enough to lounge in the spring grass on a Tuesday afternoon, and culturally diverse enough to rent an obscure indie flick on a Sunday night. I've always thought that one day, my husband and I could live in a cute colonial on the outskirts of campus, and I could spend my days writing with the cicadas chirping loudly in the background, without having to worry. No, I'm not naive, violence can happen anywhere at any time, but I always thought of Chapel Hill as being far away from such things. I wanted to believe that such a place still existed, but it doesn't. On another level, it just makes me angry that Eve Marie Carson's life could be taken away so quickly, so tragically, in an instance when another person was having a bad moment. It doesn't matter how accomplished she was or all of the great things that she did while she was here, she had a right to exist in peace, without being the victim of another person's crime. What's even more difficult is that there is no explanation for such a thing, no way to really make sense of it. All we can do is offer condolences and wishes of peace for Eve Marie Carson's family.

Short Fiction

2008-02-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

I've been writing a lot of micro or flash fiction in between screenplay revisions. I really like flash fiction, it allows me to explore a moment of time or an emotion while playing around with language. A piece of mine called, How Airplane Videos Keep Us Grounded, is posted on a lit magazine called, Word Catalyst. In the past, I had written some short pieces, but I wasn't doing it consistently. But now that I've been doing it regularly, I see my imagination opening up. I think writing these kinds of piece are great a great workout for writers!

Getting Ready

2008-02-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

Between pulling different pieces of Raspberry Magic together, re-writing my new piece and teaching, I've been a little crazed. But we've found an awesome location for Raspberry Magic--I'm not going to say anything specific about it just yet because I don't want to jinx anything, but it's really the perfect place and would work very well for us. The other question has always been whether I'm shooting the movie on Super 16mm film or digital. I've always wanted to go Super 16mm film, because I like that grainy surreal look. But, a lot of people have tried to talk me out of it, especially because there are so many amazing digital cameras out there now, and if we use 35mm lens, we can really get a great look. So, after long talks with the DP, producer and several other people, I've decided digital will be okay. I think HD Video is now becoming it's own look, and people here in Hollywood are much more in sync with that look rather than Super 16mm. I had some angst about digital, but ultimately, I realized it's just going to make the process easier, plus, we have some excellent people helping us to get the look that I want. Also, this will allow me to get as many takes as I want without being totally stressed, and I may be, seeing that the film's got lots of kids. We pretty much have our core team in place, like the DP, line producer, etc, but I really haven't found a production designer yet. I don't know too many production designers, but I def. need someone good. It would be great if this person was an Art Director too, (welcome to low budget filmmaking), but we may have to split the roles. I'm sure we'll find this person, but for now, I've been doing a bit of searching on the look/feel. The climax of the movie is a science fair, and I've written in some funny projects. But someone recently sent me a link to this hilarious site with 41 Hilarious Science Experiments--real kids, real science projects. I love it!!!

Russell Peters

2008-02-19T16:25:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago, my husband and went to see the hilarious South Asian comic, Russell Peters perform at the Nokia Stadium here in LA! Nokia! A huge venue which was sold out for his latest show. I couldn't believe how big the show was, because the last time we saw him was at a tiny venue in LA called, The Laugh Factory. It's interesting because his comedy sort of pokes fun at all of us in-betweeners: Indians, Chinese, Persians, sometimes Latinos, in other words, those of us outside just black and white. He's tapped into huge market, and I think it's really exciting, because it means that there are other people out there, like me, who want fresh, new ideas, especially funny ones. I love his Chinese accent, and his famous "Be a man" bit never fails to make me laugh.

School Shooting

2008-02-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

I was really saddened to learn that the child who was shot in the Oxnard school shooting was declared brain dead. It's a sad epidemic in this country--kids shooting kids over what used to be a simple case of bullying or playground angst. Every time I hear of another shooting, I am disturbed, and I really feel like we, as the adults, have to do more to stop this kind of violence amongst youth. It feels like schools have become battle fields, and there is nothing being done to quell it. No politician seems to have an answer to stopping these kinds of shootings. I'm def. a proponent of gun control, but I also think there needs to be education and awareness among teachers and students about this kind of violence.

Strike Over, Marketing South Asians

2008-02-13T08:59:00.001-08:00

So, the strike is finally over. Things will slowly creep back into action, but it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out, especially with new film and television projects, and especially how the web will play a role in all of this. According to an LA Times article, so many people, especially young people, have turned to the web for entertainment, it'll be interesting to see how many people are lured back into TV. On another front, we're moving forward on our little indie film, I've had a couple of good meetings with actors, and I feel excited about the cast that's shaping up. We had a conversation with a distributor the other day who said he felt our movie would be impossible to market because it features a South Asian family. I can see his point in some ways, but on the flip side, so many people have said that the movie is very much about an American family who happens to be South Asian. Many people believe that the overall themes and ideas in the movie are universal and can transcend being just a South Asian film. Also, with the success of movie like Bend it Like Beckham and even Monsoon Wedding, I feel like the color of the actors' skin is becoming less of an issue. Honestly, I think some really smart distributor could market this film in an interesting way and make a damn good return on it! Maybe I'm too idealistic, but I truly believe that this film has a place in the market, that people will come and see it not because it's about Indian people, but because it's about people!

Small Screen Narratives

2008-02-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

As some of you may/may not know, in addition to working on my movies, I also have the pleasure of teaching writing and filmmaking at a couple of colleges. This semester at LMU, I am teaching a course on shooting movies using cell phones and other portable devices. The class has been fun because students don't have to fill out all the forms, etc like they have to do in ordinary production classes, and can instead just go make movies. We limit the length to around two minutes for the films, and the class really focuses on storytelling paradigms. By that, I mean, we do a discussion on using media to convince/persuade, then we have students shoot something and show it it class. Another professor and I spent last semester developing the class, and it's been pretty cool to see it through. I think a lot of students at LMU are still not that keen on the idea of movies on mobiles devices, because they are still interested in traditional production. So the group we have is self selected and are very progressive and tech savvy people, which is pretty cool. I believe these students are opening themselves up to a lot of very interesting work opportunities. That was kind of how it was for me when I graduated from college. I was an English/public policy major, but bc of an internship, I got really into web design and found that I liked it. Web design was a great foot in the door as a congressional aide as well as a way to get a fellowship for my Master's degree at UC-Berkeley. I think movies on mobile devices will be more common, and the "small screen" itself will become a medium. There is definitely a need for content in this arena. Now, the crazy thing is, someone sent me a very interesting article from the NY Times on the popularity of "cell phone novels" in Japan. The article is called, "Thumbs Race as Japan’s Best Sellers Go Cellular." The crazy thing is, according to the article, ten of the top best sellers this year started out as cell phone novels. This is truly amazing, isn't it? I think people crave stories in every format no matter.

New Script, Casting Stars

2008-02-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

This week, I completed a new script that I've been working on for the past six months or so. It's been a long haul, but the process of writing this piece has been much more fluid than much of my work in the past. Also, it's exciting to me because I believe that the script has a much more commercial feel that some of my past work. I'm sending the piece out to a few trusted people for notes, then we'll see what happens next! It's exciting. The crazy thing is, I've been writing so much over the past few weeks, my hands and back are absolutely killing me. I sound like an old geezer, but honestly, it is a serious issue, being on the computer for such long hours. I really need to figure out some way to sit/type so that I'm not in this much pain. I got a massage last week, but that didn't seem to help. Ugh! On the Raspberry Magic front, we got a couple more people to invest, and we've actually been talking to a couple of distributors. Don't know what will come of that in the immediate, but at least we have a conversation going. We're actually excited about some actors, too. It's hard because people want us to cast big stars in the film so it has a better chance of selling, but sometimes I hate the idea of stars because it seems like the focus of the movie then shifts to the "star" rather than the actually film. Miranda July was damn lucky to be able to get away with casting all unknowns in her film, Me, You and Everyone we Know. But then again, Miranda July has been hailed a genius, so she can get away with it. If it were up to me, I would simply cast actors, meaning people who can act their asses off, rather than people who are stars. But such is the business of filmmaking, so we'll see what happens!

Life as an Artist

2008-01-31T09:45:00.000-08:00

It's been over ten years since I had a full time day job. Over the past decade, I've made a decent living as a teacher, freelance writer and web designer/video maker. It's a good life style because it allows me to make a decent living while pursuing my art as a writer/filmmaker. But the thing I hate about this lifestyle is that it's tough. You write and write with the goal of making something, seeing something happen, but it's such a long and slow process, it's easy to wonder if you're doing the right thing. I often wonder what I would feel like if I took a full time job at some sort of TV/Net venture, like say a Current TV. Maybe I'd like having salary, or knowing that something I put my work into will actually show up on TV. I've had several offers over the years, but I always find that I have too much freelance work, work as a teacher, or writer to do the full time job thing. These questions are my doubt seeping in sometimes, like maybe getting some nine to five deal will solve all the doubts I am sometimes plagued by. It's easy to be doubtful in this field, too, because there are so many subjective factors that go into having success. I had a friend who once actually asked me if there would be a day when I would quit, just forget about this and "do something else." But you see, the problem is, I don't really know what else I'd do. I would write books, maybe some articles (something I already do), but in terms of like being a project manager at a company or something, I'm just not sure about that. Maybe I'd enjoy it. At the moment, I am excited about shooting this movie, which we are doing in October, no matter what. I also have some new scripts that I think have potential, but again, it's a slow process, getting these out and seeing what might happen with them. I guess as artists/creative people, we just have to be extremely patient and have a lot of faith that the projects we sow will actually one day lead to other projects and more ideas.

Raspberry Bushes

2008-01-29T11:29:00.000-08:00

So, I planted some raspberry bushes in my backyard, just to experiment a little, like the main character in my upcoming film, Raspberry Magic. It's pretty hard to grow raspberry bushes in LA, esp. because it doesn't rain that much. But mostly because I haven't been the most dedicated grower in the world. I thought the bushes would look a little happier with all the rains, but they kind of look sadder than ever... It would def. be impossible to grow berries on these sad little plants...

Crazy Days

2008-01-28T21:06:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been a whirlwind, mostly because Megha and I were heading up to SF for a big investor meeting which subsequently got moved. But we decided to go up to SF anyway--I went bc my sister was out for a residency interview and Megha went up to see her sister, too. I thought it would be a pretty laid back weekend, but things went a little crazy bc of all the bad weather out here on the west coast. We got in much later than expected on Friday, but then Sunday when our flight was two hours late, I flipped out because Megha and I organized the Institute for International Film Finance speaker series for this month, and of course, it was happening that evening at five. It was all well planned, but we cut it really close getting back into town, and then to the venue. When I say that I flipped I out, I don't mean that I went ballistic in the airport or anything, but I did basically burst into uncontrollable tears for a seemingly ridiculous reason. Looking back on that moment, it seems kind of silly, but I think sometimes when you schedule too many things back to back without any wiggle room, this is what happens (to me at least). I also think I was a little overwhelmed with having gotten into a car accident a couple of days earlier. The accident wasn't bad, and actually, the girl who I hit had no damage. But my car was pretty banged up, which I was really upset by. Anyway, lots of interesting film meetings coming up... I hope this will be a week of calm and balance, unlike the last one.

Screenplay Structure

2008-01-19T15:17:00.001-08:00

One of the most difficult aspects of leaning screenwriting is understanding basic screenplay structure. I don't mean learning some formula like the stuff Robert McKee advocates, but I mean understanding the general ebb and flow of how drama works, how you create tension and the general dramatic beats of a story. Structure is especially crucial in screenwriting, as opposed to a novel, because it is such a bare bones medium. There is very little room for wayward plots and storylines that don't feed into the main idea. I used to go in circles with plot and inevitably end of writing myself into a very confusing and dark corner. But now, I find that I have a certain rhythm to my writing, that I understand how it works. Everyone is different, but for me, I use a very rough structural model by figuring out the setup, inciting incident, climax and resolution. I have some story beats in between and I do a lot of character work. Then, I basically pound out a first draft. My first drafts are really shitty, but I find that the only way for me to write a screenplay is to write the actual screenplay. I know some writers do extremely detailed plot outlines, but I find that if I try to do this, I end up scratching the whole thing. I also like just getting into the draft because there is a process of discovery for me--I learn more about my characters and they go in places I would never have thought of in that first draft. Then, it takes me many more revisions to really get it right and polish it. I'm sure some writers do fewer drafts because they get their ideas together in the outline, but having gone through many different methods of trying to make this plot thing work, I've found that this process works for me. I say this because I feel like I'm getting to a solid draft of a new script, and the process has been much more fluid for me than in my past work. I am sure that I'll have other pieces which take me forever, but it was nice to understand my own process and be able to write more efficiently this time.

On the Hustle

2008-01-16T20:32:00.001-08:00

Now that it's mid-January, we are back in full swing hustle mode on the film. I've been talking to all kinds of investors and even a few actors. There are some very promising developments on the horizon... The really exciting thing is that my DP, Jeffrey Chu, has been in town, so we've had a chance to sit down and really discuss the visual aspects of the film. We've been talking about what the color palette will look like for the movie and just the general feel. I want to go with colors that are a bit more subdued, that feel like realism, more like an old 16mm film than say something that is higher contrast in terms of the colors. I've always been pretty hardcore about shooting the movie on 16mm film, but the DP thinks we should explore the possibility of HD, so I am going to take a look. I am not crazy about the look of HD for dramas--I feel like it works well for comedies or even thriller type pieces like Collateral, but I like the color palette of film better. We'll see how it goes, it's more important to make the film than anything else, and Jeffrey is an excellent DP, so I'll be open to the possibilities.

Acting for Directors

2008-01-06T21:53:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I took an "Acting for Directors" course with Judith Weston. I found it to be an excellent class, especially because Judith is a no frills teacher and didn't waste time on any BS, she went straight into a series of intense exercises which dealt with improv. and accessing emotions. These classes were invaluable to me as a director, but I also believe that they were helpful in terms of my writing. On some level, as writers, we are actors. When we create characters and bring them to the page, we are playing many different parts in order to make each character authentic and real. I find many of the exercises actors do to be extremely helpful in accessing deeper emotions and getting into a frame of mind which helps me dig deeper, especially improv. I would recommend all writers, especially screenwriters, to take at least one acting class. I also enjoyed Judith's class because all of the other students were directors working in different capacities--some came from commercials, others from music videos, etc, and most people had a feature project at some phase. There was a really exciting synergy in the class, which I haven't felt before in taking workshops around LA. Judith also gave some really specific and clear tips on working with children. The class got me super pumped to move forward on my project!!

The New Year!

2008-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

I'm back in LA after ten days of complete chill time with the fam in NC--lots of eating good food and watching movies. Usually when I'm back in NC, I start to feel a little restless, but this time, I felt pretty content with being lazy. I guess that was an indication of just how burnt out I was at the end of December. Now I feel refreshed and ready to move forward with everything. In the few days I've been back in LA, things have been moving full force ahead. I met with our DP to discuss Raspberry Magic in depth, and the producer and I have a number of meetings coming up. We've also got some very exciting actor attachments on the horizon! I'm stirring creatively, which is great, there are so many things I want to do like develop a web series (I have a great premise!), plus so many new scripts to write. But it's tough to do everything so I'm going to focus on the feature (of course!) and my other scripts that are coming together. I'm also writing a new piece of flash fiction every week--it's been a great tool in terms of pushing my writing. This weekend, I am taking an intensive course called, "Acting for Directors." The class is a bit pricey, but it's well worth it. I really like Judith Weston because she is not pretentious and doesn't waste any time pimping her own resume. She does a series of intense and focused acting exercises geared toward directors. They are nerve racking, especially for those of us who are nervous about being vulnerable in front of other people, but it is really a great way for me to expand my process as a director both technically and creatively. I am generally stoked about the new year and am looking forward to busting my ass and making shit happen!

The Road

2007-12-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

I recently finished reading Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer-prize winning novel, The Road, and I have to say that it was one of the best books I've read in a very long time. I loved the sparse, staccato-like language, it's poetic rhythm taking you along the journey with father and son. The story was brilliant in its minimalism, giving the reader just enough information to go on the journey, but holding back the right amount to allow the reader's mind to wander. What I appreciated the most was the book's symbolic and metaphorical ruminations on the nature of love--when civilization has been decimated and father son are forced to find their way, is love enough to not only sustain them, but the future of the human race? In many ways, the book reminded me of The Fountainhead and Ayn Rand's theory of Objectivism, which condones altruism and advocates a rugged and fierce independence that in theory should empower the individual to survive. It's strange last night, because we were at a family party, and several of my husband's cousins and I stayed up late into the wee hours, debating this whole question of altruism versus the individual. One person in the group is a fierce Republican and believes wholeheartedly that tax dollars should not be used to help greater society, even when it comes to public services like health care, schools and more. He himself is wealthy and has done well in life, and some ways doesn't have much sympathy for those who have gone through hardships. It was an interesting discussion, something that kept bringing me back to the novel, The Road. McCarthy's book explores such complex and intricate questions, I've been thinking about it all week. Amazing that he could do so much with so little.

Insomnia on the East Coast

2007-12-24T00:10:00.000-08:00

It's 3am and for the third night in a row, I am wide awake. I am so awake, it feels like 3pm in the afternoon, like I want to go jogging around the block five times. Whenever I come to NC for the holidays, I can't sleep. I'm sure it's partly due to the time change, but it's also because my mind goes into overdrive and I cannot stop thinking--the investors we're going to hit, the plot turn I'm adding to my new script, the short piece I need to polish. It reminds me of being a teenager, when I could never sleep, so I would read until 4am every night. Insomnia frustrates me, but right now, it's okay because I am in total chill mode, hanging out at my in-laws' place, eating all of the Indian delights I love like chaat and bhel. Yesterday, I finally fell asleep around 4am, then woke up at noon. It's been a long time since I've been in "chill mode", honestly, I can't really recall the last time, because I've been so crazed. So, instead of complaining, I will catch up on email and continue reading my books. It's sort of nice being in slow-paced Charlotte, going to Best Buy to get my father-in-law a TV and baking some cookies. It was weird flying here not only because Ameet and I were retarded enough to miss our flight, which meant hours of waiting for the next one, but also because the flight from Dallas to Charlotte was full of soldiers coming home for the holidays. I could not help but stare at a young woman, clad in a too-big uniform, her wire framed glasses sliding off her nose, her blond hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and her face full of pimples. Her young sister and mother waited in a corner while her father grabbed her bags off the conveyor belt. I couldn't help but worry, wonder whether she would make it home for the next Christmas, as she waved at several others wearing their camouflage. At least she was home for this one.

Ramifications of the Strike

2007-12-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

As the Hollywood writers strike continues, I have been watching and monitoring the situation. While I believe that it is very important for a deal to be worked out, I always figured that market forces would create new incentives for both writers and internet ventures. The guild is a critical entity because it helps writers work out fair deals with the studios and major media conglomerates, particularly for larger production entities. But what I love about the Net is that it is a de-centralized form of media (that's why the studios don't know what to do with it) which is not overseen by the studios and media giants. In other words, what's stopping writers from going out and starting their own Net related ventures? That's what indie filmmakers do. We set up an investment entity, then we get people to believe in our vision. That is what I have been doing for the past couple of months--going out and getting investors. I know that many writers like working under the guild with the studios bc that is where the cash is, but on some level, now is a great time to come up with entrepreneurial ventures for the Net. We've seen sites like Quaterlife crop up, which I believe is a great idea, but the web site still needs a lot of refining on the technical end. It seems to me like in some ways, Hollywood is a little behind the curve bc content-related sites like even Current TV have been several years in the making. John August writes on his blog today about this idea, that technologists are in talks with high profile writers about setting up new entities. There is also a good article in the LA Times about this, as well.

Feelix

2007-12-17T18:00:00.002-08:00

Feelix, built by Jakob Fredslund at Aarhus University in Denmark, is going to play a role in Raspberry Magic. But more to come on him soon...

I'm Still Here... Kind Of

2007-12-12T19:51:00.000-08:00

The past month has been a total and complete whirlwind between writing, teaching, grading and trying to keep my head above the water with making my little indie film. This time of the year is always a bit tough because people are so swamped, and it's stressful in terms of setting up meetings, etc. But we've been chugging through consistently talking to all kinds of people about investing in the movie. This process is rough, and absolutely not for those with weak stomachs or hearts. Even myself, there are days when I feel totally discouraged, and I just want to put a blanket over my head and pretend I'm five years old. But alas, I want to make the film, so I have to crawl out of that shell and make the shit happen. I am excited, actually, to head back to NC for the holidays and chill, just a little. The financing for the film will be ongoing, but I am excited that my new spec is really coming together. I've got a first draft, and I'll prob spend the next couple of months punching it up to a third draft. Hopefully by then, this strike will come to close! On another front, I've been writing new flash fiction, which is exciting and fun, since it's super short and requires much less committment than a feature length screenplay :)

Strike, AFM, Filmmaking

2007-11-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

So, it's been a week of writer's strikes here in LA land... Though it doesn't affect me directly at present in terms of my indie film work, it's a bit nerve racking because it just means that the system is even slower than it already is, meaning it's going to take forever for new work to be read! Ughh, it's already so slow! I guess all of this just gives me the impetus to focus on Raspberry Magic and make the film, no matter how low budget we have to go. I'm just at that point in my life where it's like do or die, I have to make the film and move ahead. I've also been thinking lately about doing a couple of narrative shorts for the web. I've got so many ideas, and it may be fun to shoot something in kind of a low-fi format and just get it out there. I love the possibility, because it's so much easier than screening something in film festivals--people can watch it much more immediately! On another tip, my producer and I went to AFM last week to meet with several people about the movie. It was fun but weird on many levels, hanging out in the lobby of the Loew's Hotel. We met with a couple of distributor/producer types who are helping us make this film happen, which was great. The weird part was seeing some filmmakers dressed in costumes or handing out schwag like pens and buttons. Man, it's a total down and dirty sort of hustle, people trying to get the word out however they can... This business is def tough at every juncture.

Quiet Week, Strike Looming

2007-11-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

This is the first week in a long time that I haven't had meetings for Raspberry Magic. It was weird, but a good time to catch up on a bunch of things like putting together our fall newsletter/update. The week before, I had a pretty big deal investor meeting with a crew of people, which went very well. Megha and I had spend weeks putting together slides that are beautiful but also shock full of information. It was a stressful process and at one point, I thought we might kill one another, but it all worked out. It was a great experience to tell the story of the movie and also break down the financial for a captive audience. There are a number of people who are interested, but this process is so long, it requires a lot of talking back and forth, meeting with more people and then more people, constantly. I think sometimes that's the part that's hard for me, because it's a lot of waiting. But, we are lucky that we've got the meetings, and that we have a good group of people interested in the film. It's crazy with the whole Hollywood strike looming. I am sure it will impact me in ways I never imagined, even though it's not directly. It does seem like, though, with all this going on, we'll see more money going into webisodes and indie film. It will be interesting to see how all this shakes out.

Sense of Reality

2007-10-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

What is reality and what how does one define existence? It's an abstract question, but the truth is that each of us have a different sense of reality and even meaning in our lives. For one person, reality might be about basic survival--finding food, shelter and water on a daily basis. For me, it's dealing with raising money for a movie, and living here in LA. For a good friend of mine who has a pretty bad case of paranoid schizophrenia, it's a about a "secret project" that no one knows about and that he can't tell us about. He's hiding out from people, and truly believes that there is conspiracy against him which involves someone logging into his email and monitoring his phone calls. I hesitated to blog about this whole thing because it's a highly personal matter, but on another level, it's preoccupied my thoughts more than I can even explain lately. Even more so, because some friends and I recently had an intervention where we tried to convince him to see a doctor. The conversation was like talking to a brick wall--he turned the story around on us, claiming that our argument that he is displaying all of the classic signs of the illness and that he should see a doctor was invalid. In fact, he kept telling us that we needed to come up with a new "story," a more creative reason for him to see a doctor. To him, nothing is wrong and he does not need to see a doctor. It's fascinating to me how the mind takes over and alters a person's idea of existence. Prior to schizophrenia, this person was an extremely high functioning member of society, someone who was the creme of the crop in terms of his ideas and abilities. Now, he is hiding out in his brother's apartment and sometimes wandering to friends' homes, walking around believing that he is being followed by people in this conspiracy. This whole situation makes me sad, particularly because there is no way to rationalize with a person in this state of mind. None. They have no doubts about their own sense of existence and reality and no one and really fuck with that. In fact, during the intervention, we brought up this whole point, that most of us question our own existence and sense of reality on a daily basis. He said he did not and that he did not want to. It's impossible to screw around with that.

Screenwriting Expo

2007-10-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

I was always somewhat cynical about the Screenwriting Expo because I thought it would be another one of these weird events where people try to give you some magical formula to make millions on your next script. I went to one writing writing seminar like this where the speaker kept talking about how his Mercedes outside proved that he had a successful writing career. He kept giving long lists like, "30 ways to create conflict." It was weird--I actually left and got my money back. But, last year, I decided to go check out the expo and I have to say, I was really impressed. Most of the speakers were working writers or university teachers, which to me is way better than some of these "guru types" who often seem like they are basically trying to make a buck off poor souls with a dream. Anyway, I checked out several speakers who I thought were impressive like Steven Barnes and Linda Cowgill. Both were excellent in terms of their discussions on character and plot, and honestly, after listening to them, I felt like I stepped up my writing game in a huge way. I have a weird mindset with the expo, I go hardcore to classes and do my thing, but I'm not really in it to network. If I see people I know, then cool, but I'm really there to just go to the classes and take advice from the teachers. This year, I'm going focusing on plot and character, my two favorite areas, and going to a number of courses related to that. I'm looking forward to it, esp since I have so many ideas cooking in my head right now! Here are some of the seminars I plan to attend:

+ Inside Story: (Part 1) -- Developing the Transformational Arc of Character by Dara Marks
+ How to Create Characters With Emotional and Psychological Depth by Rachel Ballon
+ Sequences: The Hidden Structure of Successful Screenplays by Paul Joseph Gulino
+ Myth, Magic, Metaphysics: How to Use Them in Your Stories by Pamela Jaye Smith

Pushing Harder

2007-10-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

This week has been long and exhausting. There is so much going on between the film and teaching, that I sometimes feel like I am struggling to keep my head above the water. In addition to teaching and making Raspberry Magic, I'm also writing a new spec script which I believe has a lot of potential, and even though I'm 80 pages in and know exactly where I want the ending to go, I wish I were further along. There is so much to do, I should be working like 25 hours a day. Sometimes I look at my creative resume and wish it was longer, a lot longer. Like instead of having made three short films, I wish I had made ten. Instead of writing three really solid features I'm proud of, I wish I had five. While sometimes this mindset is dangerous for me because I fall into a slump of never being satisfied, I also believe that this mindset keeps me going, motivates me. Even with the feature, there are moments when I want to be further along. But then, when I actually stop and look back, I'm actually amazed by how much we have done. If I think about where I was at a year ago versus now, I realize... Wow, I barely knew what a business plan was last year, but now I have one for the film! It's this amazing how life is? In the moment, when things are stressful, you wonder where everything is going. Then, when you actually stop and take a breath, you realize, wow, I have made progress...